A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:need advice on how to dump my current boyfriend.I want to just be single for a while. hes cheated on me once with his ex, hes got a child, ive read messages in june-september to his ex ... i jsut never really had the balls and she confirmed everything earlier this month .. yet i stayed with him. how do i let him down easily? what do i say? theres another man in love him me too and i know i can do better and someone will treat me really well. only thing is he treats me very well and ADORES me. its so hard thinking of how to let him down easily. help!
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female
reader, Mistify +, writes (8 January 2008):
 There is no easy way to break up with somebody.
I can just give you a couple of pointers, but it will still be a sad affair, and you need to allow him to feel what he is going to feel.
a) don't blame him. Don't tell him it is because of something he did (even if it is)
b) be soft with him. Don't be rude, or bitchy, just be soft, and sorry, and have endearment with him if he is sad.
c) don't tell him you're leaving him for somebody else (even if you are)
d) just be honest - NOT BRUTALLY HONEST...
You only need to tell him that your relationship was good while it lasted, and that you've learned a lot about yourself, but that the time has come for you to move on. He's not at fault, and neither are you. Some relationships are just NOT MEANT TO BE, and that is what happened here. Your time together has come to an end.
Don't ask him if he still wants to be friends, coz this might get his hopes up.
Just leave that up to him
It is always easier to make a clean break.
And as for the other guy. Just give yourself some time to clear your head before jumping right into the next relationship.
Good luck. - Let us know how it goes...
A
female
reader, Maxine17 +, writes (8 January 2008):
 If he cheated on you then you should've left him then already. Confront him. Tell him that you saw the messages. And that you felt that what he did was wrong and tat you cannot trust him. It is clear that he still loves his ex and he should've been honest to you about it. Tell him that you guys can still be friends if he wants that and tell him that you are sure that he will be happier with his ex because he still loves her. If you have feelings for the other guy then tell him that you need a bit of time to get over the previous relationship. Once you feel that you know him well enough and if he still love and adores you then date him. There is no harm in that. Who knows he might be Mr. Right?
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 I think in these situations honesty and directness is usually the best policy. Often people look for an easy way and end up making it worse because they are looking to somehow cusion something that cant be cushioned. It sounds to me like that you still care for this guy but obviously the trust has gone and now want some single time which is understandable.
Just tell him you need to talk and tell him how you feel, maybe tell him that you do still care about him and that that means you can maybe still be friends at a later date when things have settled down but that it's over. Try not and leave room for hope if there is none because an unclean break will complicate things. Good luck.
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