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What's the best way to ask a girl if she's interested in casual sex?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 August 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 12 August 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Is there a proper way to ask a woman you meet if she is interested in casual sex?

I know there are many ways, and simply asking over the phone "Hey, do want to just sleep together?" Would not be acceptable. So if you experienced and mature men and women could give me some advice I would greatly appreciate it, thank you.

I know honesty is the best policy, I'm not out to lie for sex, I just want to find a woman that is OK with it, and if she is not, I will say ok no problem and move on.

View related questions: move on

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010):

This is the original poster: Thank you all for your advice, I did meet this woman at a club, although I didn't have to ask, it just happened. I wonder if I should still ask or just not say anything unless she specifically brings it up?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010):

Honestly just ask. Then you both are on the same page, you know where you both stand, and you'll probably avoid a lot of mess and hassle afterwards. The girl will appreciate it, too, since she knows what she's getting into and can make an educated decision.

Just don't get offended or take it too personally if a girl rejects you. Makes sense, right? But I think you'll get what you're looking for if you're just up front.

In fact, there's a famous physicist who said that he just asks straight out, and girls will say yes (In his memoir "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman," which is about the physicist who worked on the Manhattan Project and discovered the reason for the Challenger mishap back in the 80s). Check out the book and see how he did it. Sorry this is random, but just trying to convince you to be honest and straightforward :)

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (11 August 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntBeing complimented on how I look (or looked the last time we met), followed by being told how amazing I am (or, if it's someone I haven't been with before, how amazing he thinks I must be) in bed usually leads to me being very likely to respond favorably to the question "Can I come over or do you want to meet somewhere?".

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A female reader, Oregongrl1 United States +, writes (11 August 2010):

Honestly, these days just go to a bar! not trying to be a smart *ss but if it is just sex you want w/ no attachments whats wrong w/ just saying it! your not looking for love? just tell her shes hot and beautiful and you would love to make love to her. tell her no strings of course you just enjoying making love. or just look her in the eyes and move slowly to her and kiss her softly. wala!!!!! cant be that hard not unless shes just not in to you or one to just romp around in the hay.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010):

Say "Hey baby, want a bit of nookie?"

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 August 2010):

Honeypie agony auntMaybe have to ask her straight out if she is interested in a "friends with benefits". Be aware that some women would regard is as a "something is wrong with me" or " Am I not datable", but I'm SURE there are women out there who just wants a shag/roll in the hay every now and then.

Just a little side note, most women don't really do well with casual sex. They tend to develop feeling for the guy/guys they sleep with.

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A female reader, kayjaydeex United Kingdom +, writes (11 August 2010):

there is no way whatsoever to ask a women for 'casual sex' , the only way to go about it is the if it happens it happens policy

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