A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone tell me what's similar and different between vaginal and anal sex?And what does giving a BJ fee llike?[Mod note: I think the age range given by the poster is likely to be inaccurate.]
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 By definition, anus is not sex organ like vagina and penis. Vagina and anus in female is separated by very thin skin, but anus has no status of 'sex-organ'. The defining character of sex organ is 'pleasure'. Penis and vagina hold the status as sex organ, and other part of the body, like breast, lips, tips of the finger, etc etc etc are subordinate to sex-organ, in the sense that it work to stimulate 'sex-organ'.
Oral sex, is hold as great in one sense, it involve very delicate touch, so feel very exciting and pleasing. Sex pleasure is dominated mainly by sense of touch, in association with other senses, like site, smell, hearing, etc etc.
Good and creative sex required how one used all these senses with highest vision. Sexual act is mainly 'intellectual' rather then instinctual. Anal is not at all sexual, but more painful, harmful, and degrading so I do not wish to say more on the issue.
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (8 December 2009):
 The prior poster is right in some VERY small regards, ..there IS little stimulation to the clitoris during anal sex, ... but to appear to rule stimulation out altogether may indicate a lack of communication with sexual partners and understanding of what the other party is experiencing.
Newsflash folks ..... pleasure from anal sex is NOT purely the male domain. Such sex can indirectly stimulate (via the thin wall between the vaginal and anal passages) the womans G Spot and for many, results in truly intense orgasms.
As for the diff b/n the two...
Anal sex for me (being rather new to it and having only done it a handful of times) has a degree of pain attached, yet is sooooooo incredibly stimulating I was shocked at being in intense pain whilst also in intense ecstasy. Who would think the two could mix! I now find even the thought of it a huge turn on!!!
I would advise ignoring the BJ advice already given too. Sounds like that poster has some very particular requirements. The number one thing that will turn your man on is knowing that you are LOVING what you are doing. If you start with enthusiasm U can work on the rest later.
Nothing sux more tho than an half arsed , half interested, rather be somewhere else bogus attempt at oral sex. If U are not in to it,dont insult yourself or your lover. A partner will know and it wont do much for them if it aint doing much for you, so imho, dont even bother going there unless you truly can't resist going there with a passion.
Remember you want to be sharing an intimate moment and pleasuring a lover, ... not performing a one sided servicing of someone.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): [I'm a bi man, so mostly qualified to answer.]
Starting with the obvious: vaginal sex has the man put his penis in your vagina, anal sex has the man put his penis in your anus.
Vaginal sex is pretty straightforward. During foreplay sexual excitement causes lubrication, the clitoris rises, the labia part, the vagina stands more straight and firm. The man's erect penis slides in without a great deal of effort, often rubbing the mass of nerves surrounding the clitoris as it does so. The man's penis is thrust back and forth. Many, but by no means all, women will orgasm from this indirect stimulation of their clitoris. Eventually the man is excited enough to ejaculate. Some sperm start the long climb up the vagina, around the cervix, through the womb to a waiting egg in the fallopian tubes. The remaining ejaculate runs back out of the vagina in the next few hours.
Anal sex is very different. There is no natural lubrication, so it is painful unless artificial lubrication is used. Foreplay leads to no preparation of the anus and rectum to take a penis, so the insertion of the penis must be slow and probably not very deep. It is best to prepare the way using a lubricated finger. Even then it can be painful. There is little stimulation of the clitoral nerves, so there's not much in it for the woman. (There's actually more for men in being the receiver of anal sex, as it stimulates a male-only organ called the prostate.)
So much for the physical issues. As usual with sex the mental issues are much more important and vary widely between individuals.
Many women find the thought of anal sex unpleasant. Either because it is dirty or because it is often painful (especially at first, or if with a partner that doesn't care). There is an element of degradation to this, and that excites some women and many men. Equally, it very much repels many women and some men.
Most couples try anal sex. A few make it a regular sexual practice, often as a treat for the partner who likes it. Very few couples prefer it over vaginal sex.
A blow job is a odd sort of name. The idea is that you suck the penis, moving your head up and down so your lips masturbate the head and upper shaft of the penis. You'll usually use a hand to masturbate the root of the penis.
The sad news is that your man may not come to this -- usually you can't get enough friction. So don't feel bad if you finish him with a hand or need some other technique. Other techniques would be rubbing the tube of his penis behind his balls, licking or biting his nipples, a finger in his anus to rub his prostate, taking his balls into your hand or mouth, tounging the hole in his penis.
To give a good BJ you do the basics, and add a few of the extras he likes to get him over the top. Often people start with a BJ to get them in the mood and finish with sex. As usual it's an individual thing. Some men like to come on their partner's face (again with the degrading acts) or to come from tittie sex (put his penis between your breasts, now push your breasts together). Some partners find BJs work very well when both people are dressed (as its easy to imagine forbidden love or to imagine exhibitionism), others worry about ejaculate stains.
Many women do not like the taste of ejaculate. Some men get hung up if their partner spits it out. Do what works for you. I'm told that many women swallow to minimise the cleaning up afterwards, rather than from any real liking for the taste :-)
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