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What's making these guys fall for their booty calls?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2006) 6 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2008)
A female , anonymous writes:

It seems that more and more girls are controling bootycall situations.Girls are taking control of the bedroom with a new sexual independence. I have noticed a trend in the forum where the boys are falling in love with their bootycalls ,where as the girls only wanted some fun...my question is are the guys of today becoming wimps or is it the fact that the girls dont want more from them that are making these guys fall for them

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008):

It's definitly the fact that the women don't want them anymore that makes the guys fall for them. I offer to "hang out"(because i dont want to date him and tell him too) to a guy (if he's to my liking, not all guys) 1st, i tell them it will be only once or twice they say fine, and after the second time(if he's really to my liking) he's trying to make it a 3rd time. I say fine but act like it's no big deal so he wont call again. being nonchalant with a guy will make him want you even more sometimes, because if you play tooo hard to get they will just move on and in my situation its welcome if they move on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I agree with all the post here for this question,but in terms of the European aspect,i think from my exprience Europeans are well ahead of the United States in terms of realizing that a women are expressing themselves sexually and on there own terms.Americans are really just coming to grips that women are controling their own sexuality,giving sex and stoping it when they want..I do agree the men are failing faster for the girls while the girls are enjoying the power in this independence.It is not about being a slut but realizing a round in bed doesnt mean the girl is hooked to you anymore,she may say "thanks" and never see you again

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (1 June 2006):

Yos agony auntI have to question that you think men are being 'wimps' for falling for someone. You make it sound rather negative!

Women have been fed role models from shows such as Sex in the City that promote sexual independence and more acceptibility of promiscuous behaviour for women. The modern woman 'should' pick the men she wants, get out of them what she wants, and throw the ones back she doesn't like.

Whilst I think there is something good about this, I also think that there are some negatives. Women should not feel that they 'have to' behave this way. Sadly I think many girls feel they have to 'play the game' in order to be socially respected, which is a great shame and can cause a lot of emotional problems and relationship disfunctions later in life. Especially, for those with low self esteem, it is easy to play the stereotype (promiscuous but non-commital independent party-girl) from a position of feeling you need to behave this way to 'fit in'.

I have seen a lot of my friends suffer from the fallout of this kind of behaviour later in life, in terms of struggling to be able to commit or be intimate with their partners, and also in terms of dealing with trust issues after having promiscuous pasts. I would say that my experience has been that the emotional consequences of casual non-commital sex in the long run can be a lot more serious that people think. An STD is minor compared to this.

As a European I have to disagree with your friend in Paris (I have lived in several Eurpoean countries, as well as the USA). Generally my experience has been that the US is more sexually active and especially that US girls are under greater pressure from the media and their peers to be sexually active and play up to the 'modern party-girl' stereotype. This exists in Europe too of course, but the media influence is a little less pervasive in my opinion, and the peer-group pressure is a little less strong.

So to answer your question, I would say that male behaviour has not changed that much, but female behaviour has changed a lot... women not committing to relationships that they were before. This means that whereas previously the man would be the one deciding whether to commit (since the woman already had), now it is often the man who wants to commit first.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yeah you are right ,it seems the girls are really taking control of the bedroom. I was talking to a high school guy the other day and he said it is no longer a big deal to sleep with a girl,the real issue is if she is going to tell people you are bad in bed. It's a new generation and men are the ones being judged in bed ( did he orgasm too soon?,couldnt get it up?,couldnt give her an orgasm?..etc) Women have even setup a rating list at a popular college in the U.S ,where they rate guys on campus in bed. Times have changed but my friend from Paris said American women are now doing what European women have been doing for 60 years.

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2006):

smeedle agony auntWomen are now more independant and with that comes the shot calling, they know what they want and how to get it, men tried for years to put a stop to this by not giving women the vote, the men of the day knew with the vote would steadily grow a womans "rebellion" against years of doing what they were told and kept in there place by there men folk, oh how we have revolted!!

Sex is a powerful tool that men have used for years, now women feel no shame in expressing themselves in the bedroom and showing men what they want and if the man does not listen they have no worries about moving onto someone who better pleases them sexually.

Sex has always been a weapon used by both sexes it is just that women now are stronger and more assertive and more choosey.

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A female reader, ask paige United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2006):

ask paige agony aunti think that because now more then ever more and more couples are breaking up so the women who dont want to be one of those couples are trying to please there partners so that they dont go and find someone else who mabey they get more pleasure on

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