A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My gf(23) split with me(39) a few months ago. Recently we started seeing each other again. We discussed why we split, and the biggest reason see said was that we didnt talk.But we both are not the talking type. We can answer a question with one or two words rather than spin it out into an entire conversation. She never wants to talk about work and my life isnt that interesting to have a sustained conversation about.She is thinking about us getting back together but, her worry is that we still wont be able to talk.We want it to feel natural when we talk because we bounce off each other when it is. If it's forced talk, like we have to keep thinking of what to say, then it just kills the flow of the conversation.What should we be talking about, how should we be talking? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (10 March 2009):
 I was wondering, do you have similar hobbies? Hobbies that can be done by both of you together, without having to "chit chat" while doing it? Have you explored this? Do you share similar tastes of books? Music?
I think there are many ways of "communication" without having to spew out zillions of words to each other. But yes, I agree with Army Medic, and your g/f, that it is nice to be able to talk about anything and everything at any time, when you are together.
I dated a guy whose friends said he was one of the quietest people they knew, but I found that he was one of the wittiest men I have ever known! He was very clever with wordplay, and we had so much fun doing it sometimes my face hurt from laughing and my head hurt from trying to outdo him LOL. Perhaps you can try that wordplay games first. It cost nothing and other than a headache for trying too hard, you might also suffer some face (and stomach) muscles pain from laughing too much.
So bottom line, you need to be creative, and you need to explore what you and your partner can find interesting together. If that did not work either, well, as aunt ArmyMedic said, you may just not be that compatible as partners.
Good luck!
Cat
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (10 March 2009):
 If you can't find conversation, between you maybe you do not have enough in common to actually be in a relationship. I mean what are you going to do while she is on her period? Not see each other, sit looking at one another in silence?
Seriously, communication and trust are the key to relationships, not sex and physical attraction, and I don't care how private you are, when you find some one you click with you will never be short of conversation or worry about breaking up because you have nothing to say to each other.
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