A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok... i know there are alot of questions on her about this, but i need some input.i am a senior in college, about 5 months from graduation and i have a crush on my professor. I know nothing can happen right now because of the whole teacher-student situation. he is 16 years older than me and i know my parents most likely would not want me to see him or even try for a future with him, but we get along really well and i don't know what i should do after gradation.please help...
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female
reader, Drat001  +, writes (29 December 2010):
I'll tell you what one of my professors told me (after I asked him what he thought about this one professor in the department marrying a graduate student in another department):
"If she's not in your class (snapped his fingers, winked and pointed--like the black guy in the opening of Love Boat), have at it."
So, while it is frowned upon, even a teminable offense, to sleep with a current student, universities typically neither condone or punnish relationships between professors and former students.
So, the real issues are: 1) is he married? If he is, stay the hell away. 2) Are you mature enough to be with a man 16 years older? If you're still into Lady Gagme and fashion and stuff that a 40-something year old guy could care less about, then you might be looking at some serious future problems. 3) How well do you get along, really? Having polite conversation with a guy doesn't really help you establish a foundation for a relationship. You need to know him socially. If you're really interested in him, and he's available, then find out what he likes to do and when he does it, and then "by coicidence" run into him doing that thing yourself. Don't EVER just ask your professor if he would like to date you. Men, as much as they hate to admit it, love a hunt. Make "accidential" acquaintance with him in a casual setting, and after you get to know him better, if you're still interested, let him know that you like to do certain things he likes to do (hobbies, interests), but that you haven't found a partner to do them with. In other words, drop him a line and see if he takes the bait. If he does, let the hunt begin. Of course, don't just say you want to do this and that just to impress him or get him to like you. Only do things that you genuinely enjoy. Never, never, NEVER try to build a relationship upon lies and deceit!
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