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What should I do about my girlfriend? She won't tell me what's wrong!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 July 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 July 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *jmanny64 writes:

My GF had on and off mood swings which I can not figure out, sometime when I'm with her shes really hyper and happy and that but when I'm at work and she is at home I call her on the phone and she just goes quiet and doesn't really talk.

I say to her what's up and she tells me nothing she just says nothing is matter but I know there is. I tell her if she told me perhaps I could help and that she can talk to me about anything but she is not having any off it.

Sometimes she is moody when I'm around her as well. I just don't know what is playing on my mind because I have done nothing wrong yet I'm the one that gets put in the dark if she has a problem or she is worried about anything.

I thought if you loved someone you can tell them anything and they would understand and sit down to talk about it but its different with her. I love her too bits and she loves me too but just can figure her out.

What shall I do??

Her period aint soon either...

View related questions: at work, period

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A male reader, Rogerramjet Canada +, writes (15 July 2009):

About the phone thing: Some people are just not good on the phone. I've actually had women complain to ME about this because i'm a completely different person in PERSON then i am on the phone. I blame it on the way i was raised.. My grandfather and my mother are both very cold on the phone...We take care of our business and then we get off as soon as possible, with very little chit-chat or "i love you, snook'ums" type filler.

As for the moody bits: Eh, that's women, man. Just let her know that if there is anything wrong you want her to know you're there for her, and leave it at that.

You don't want to force the issue too much cause that can actually drive them away.

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A female reader, ilovebowsandcherries United Kingdom +, writes (15 July 2009):

ilovebowsandcherries agony auntHnu i am a girl and i do exactly the same!

but i do it because i feel it's my problem i should be able to sort it out by myself so i bottle it up until i get to breaking point probably something i know i shouldn't do but hey! i do it!

i like to keep my problems to myself and figure them out on my own makes me feel better.

i don't like burdening people with my problems as i feel we all have problems and i don't want to lay mine on someone else for them to help me out with when i am capeable of doing that myself!

she could be like me and want to figure this out on her own and yes its nice to have someone there for us but sometimes we do like just to figure things out on our own.

if she keeps acting like this just let her know you are there it'll make her feel better!

just say look i know you're upset if you want to talk let me know and i'll be ready to listen to you.

this way she knows you care and she knows that you clocked she's upset about something so this may make it easier for her to open up to you :)

so she knows you are not bothered whether she dumps all her problems on your lap for you to help her with.

Hope this helps pop me a message you need to talk further :)

x ilovebowsandcherries x

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A male reader, Heartbroken in love United States +, writes (15 July 2009):

I agree with samill. As a guy I can concur that a womans period is not always to blame. In fact I would say while her period will make her cranky if she is really happy otherwise with you and all a little cranky is as far as it goes usually. This problem you are having has nothing to do with her menstrual cycle. You need to softly make her tell you what is wrong because it is concerning you. You should tell her that its not working for you to not know what she is thinking. Say something to her like "I hate not knowing what you are thinking about or what is bothering you" then say "Because I care about you" "Please tell me, and maybe It can help me understand" If she still says its nothing and she keeps saying that you might have to tell her you can't be in a relationship where you and your mate can't talk to each other. I am not saying bluff. But be honest with her and yourself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009):

It's a game that women play now and then and it goes like this:

You: What's wrong?

She: Nothing.

You: Come on, what's wrong?

She: There's nothing wrong.

You: There is. There's something wrong.

She: There's nothing wrong.

You: Tell me - what is it?

She: Look, I shouldn't have to tell you, you should know.

You: So, there IS something wrong!

She: There's nothing wrong.

You: How long is this going to go on for?

She: There's nothing wrong.

You: What's wrong?

She: Nothing.

You: Then why have you got a face like you've just chewed a paracetamol.

She: I haven't.

You: There's something wrong isn't there?

She: It doesn't matter.

You: Come on, you can tell me - what's wrong?

She: *Silence*

You: I give up.

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