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What should I do about my fear of kissing without having had consumed alcohol? How can I accept my sister's love life without having experienced romance myself?

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Question - (23 June 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 June 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am a 19 year-old girl who has never had a romantic kiss. I have madeout with my share of boys in college, although I was drunk everytime and never saw any of the boys again. I never drank in high school and had never kissed anyone until I went to college...so it was all very new to me. But now I have an unnatural fear that I won't be able to kiss someone without being intoxicated.

Plus, my 16 year-old sister has a serious boyfriend and they are on the verge of having sex. This has been very difficult for me to accept because I have never even had a boyfriend and my siser, who I am extremely close to, is now unwilling to share details of her love life. I am not at all used to her keeping certain details private. My parents are experiencing a daughter having a serious relationship for the first time and it really embarrases/upsets me. I feel like a complete loser.

So my questions are:

1) What should I do about my fear of kissing without having had consumed alcohol?

2) How can I accept my sister's love life without ever having experience romance myself?

View related questions: drunk, kissing

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A female reader, bailee United States +, writes (30 June 2009):

the fear?

find a guy you're serious about.

once you do, tell him how you feel and let him slowly make you comforatable doing it.

after a couple times, it will be easy :)

that's how my first kiss was.

it took him forty minutes to build my confidence...then i kissed him.

just make sure he's patient and willing.

as for your sister, learn from it.

learn from what she does to make her relationship work.

try her techniques...but don't let it get to you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008):

Whats your sisters love life got to do with you and your love life??

Everyone is different - I never had a serious boyf til I was 19 and in college also. Your better off not tying yourself down too young to someone. Experience life and whats out there first...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2008):

hi. i don't think you should worry much and think you're a loser. 19 is okay. it's still an early age. right now, i'm 19 and i just started to have guys courting me. just more than a month ago, nobody was even interested in me. just wait, don't lose hope.

also, i see myself on your sister and my older sister on you. my older sister is going on 22 already and she has never had a boyfriend. never been kissed at that. i tease her about me having guys courting me, but she DOESNT care. that's what i admire about her.she knows the right time will come for her. don't hurry, trust me. :)

and kissing while sober is totally possible!

just with the right person at the right time and place... you'll see... :) it's going to be wonderful...

hope i have helped you somehow..

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