New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login225791 questions, 981761 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

What makes a player fall for a girl and stop playing the game? And do they ever feel guilty or even have a heart?

Tagged as: Big Questions<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 August 2008) 7 Answers - (Newest, 29 June 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

What makes a player fall for a girl and stop playing the game?

I recently ran into a guy I thought was sweet..then red flags came up to show that he was playing games with me. I started liking him, but because of his behavior (it's not consistent with his word).

I ended it and walked away.

Now I'm kicking myself for liking him..but at the the time..i thought we had a connection. Was I the only one that felt this connection, because they are so good at creating it? Also.. Do they ever feel guilty for playing a good girl with a good heart? Do they even have a heart? thanks

View related questions: player

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, playerinlove00 United States +, writes (29 June 2009):

Well as a former player of sorts I can safely say that the heart does play a role. I learn how to game girls, by essentially mimic them at first. Now I cant speak for every "player" out there but most guys learn this stuff to find a partner. I have been on both sides. The player and the played. Girls do the same. You know as I grew out of the whole player. try and get all the girls mentality I realized even the sweet girls do it. Its not your fault neither is the fault of most of the guys trying thee same tactics. Even the girl I am trying to be with now plays the whole hot/cold, hard to get mentality. I know she likes me because of her behavior but if I ever show the slightest interest, she goes cold or send mixed signals. I wish we could all be adults and just tell each other how we feel but sadly it never works. (I have tried) What got me was the mixed signals but I cant say it will work cause if she continues to flip flop I will drop her for some one else. I really like her but I wont put up with it for too long.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, playerinlove00 United States +, writes (29 June 2009):

Well as a former player of sorts I can safely say that the heart does play a role. I learn how to game girls, by essentially mimic them at first. Now I cant speak for every "player" out there but most guys learn this stuff to find a partner. I have been on both sides. The player and the played. Girls do the same. You know as I grew out of the whole player. try and get all the girls mentality I realized even the sweet girls do it. Its not your fault neither is the fault of most of the guys trying thee same tactics. Even the girl I am trying to be with now plays the whole hot/cold, hard to get mentality. I know she likes me because of her behavior but if I ever show the slightest interest, she goes cold or send mixed signals. I wish we could all be adults and just tell each other how we feel but sadly it never works. (I have tried)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

It sucks, cause i do still think of him.

I guess what I wonder most is if he miss me and if I made any difference in his life.

I would like to think that i did, and he would change his ways. But he is young, so maybe that's what all guys do to find themselves.

i don't believe in "connection" anymore, because that is what got me so hooked to him. I thought it was "special".

I realize now that your brain does funny things to your mind. It was total lust & infatuation. I am very embarrass at what happenend but i have to look at this as a learning experience.

I hope a male answers..or a reform player...i need to get their opinion.

thanks everyone

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (16 August 2008):

hlskitten agony auntThey are nutorious for not doing what they say. The saying actions speak louder than words was invented with playas in mind i'm convinced of it.

You were at a vulnerable time and thats another good radar system they have finely tuned i'm afraid.

If you have fallen for him and he tries getting back in your good books, i can see you going round in circles here, because they are very manipulative and you have to be pretty damn strong to say no, cuz they dont like taking no for an answer. Its themselves that like to say no.

Part of the attraction for them to women is having them fall at his feet. Until they do that, he will chase and chase. And once his charms have worked and they are devoted to him, he's off quicker than a whores knickers.

Seriously, if he doesn't contact you, you have had a lucky escape. My playa ex used to go for older women, i presume because he thought they were desperate, these days he goes for younger because they are easier to charm.

C xxxxx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm so angry though. Because I am 12 years older and I should have known these little punks play games. It's just i am recently separated and sooo vunerable, i believe his sweet talk. I wanted to hear it,..i need it. I let my guard down big time.

Now I see, i was just another bragging story to tell to his friends.

It' only been a week since i ended it..so he might come calling back. I don't know. I feel like a fool for thinking something was there when it was not and wasting so much time on him. I want to call and tell him he hurt me, but i know it's a waste of time.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (16 August 2008):

hlskitten agony auntHi

No i dont think hearts come into it with playas, although i'm surprised he let you walk away. A common symptom with a playa is they like the chase, and usually lose interest when they have got the woman. I have a mate thats a playa. He admits that as soon as they start throwing themselves at him, which they do cuz he can charm the birds out the trees, he loses interest.

I had an on off relationship with a playa, i didn't realise he was a playa at the time, i just couldn't quite fall for him, cuz i didn't trust him, i always held back, and would end it a few times, only for him to manipulate back again. I ended it for good in the end, and it took him months to leave me alone and move on and find someone that didn't quite fall for him again, after we split he spent ages dating older women that were desperate to settle down and threw themselves at him, soon as that happened, then he ran in the opposite direction, leaving broken hearts in his trail.

The only way i think you can get a playa to fall for you, is be guarded, and not think they are the best thing since sliced bread normally, it turns them on big time the chase. They like to have a few drooling over them at one time.

Sounds like you had a lucky escape.

C xxxxxx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Tigerspaw357 Panama +, writes (16 August 2008):

If you walked away because you had that gut feeling then stop kicking yourself. Gut feelings are usually best followed

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "What makes a player fall for a girl and stop playing the game? And do they ever feel guilty or even have a heart?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.046875!