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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: whats the best way for me to handle this. im so down at the mo. everyday at work theres always someone ready to make me the butt of their jokes. noone likes me because i work really hard and say i will make them look bad so im viewed as a social leper. when i try and join in im either dismissed or made to feel stupid so now i say nothing and avoid but i cant win because now i come across as moody or miserable im desperately searching for new work but nothing as yet but in the meantime have to put up with this shit everyday. im grateful to have a job but this is making my life unbareable. last night they went out for a group drink and not one person bought me a drink yet ive stood rounds before. i was completely left out of any chat and as a result left early. im feel so fed up and am in tears please anyone got any support they could offer me thankyou x
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female
reader, josephy  +, writes (28 July 2011):
 ignorance is your key. you are confident, hard working person and have nothing to worry about. let them behave the way they want but you show no weakness. you don't need to have company with such people. you have your own friends outside the work. when you are done working you are done with everything else don't let that thing bother you. leaving your job will make them get what they want so take that idea out of your head.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2011): People can be sickeningly immature. Behaviour like that is the stuff of high school, but of course being on the receiving end of it hurts just as much as an adult as when you're teenager! It all comes down to jealousy. As you said, you're a hard worker and it shows them up; the only way they retaliate is by isolating and humiliating you in the hope that it has a negative effect on your performance. How to deal with it? By showing them you couldn't care less.
Easier said than done, I know, but you can't allow others to get to you like that. You're there to do your job, not feel like you're going into battle every day. First of all, remember that you've done absolutely nothing wrong; they're the ones with the problem, not you, although they'd like to make you believe you somehow deserve such treatment. Throw yourself into your work like never before and hen they try to cut you out of group discussions, smile, shrug, and make your own entertainment. If you don't want to socialise with them, tell them you have other plans. You don't need them... send that message loud and clear.
Always hold your head high, dear. Turn to your family and real friends for support too - they have your best interests at heart and can offer other perspectives. If you do end up leaving this job, make sure it's because you've found something which is truly better for you and not because you feel forced out by your co-workers. After all, the world is full of people who'll try to drag you down... and you're sure to find at least one in every establishment! Good luck and take care x
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