A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I was standing next to my work male friend in town. We were waiting for another friend who was using the cash point.A man came to speak to me asking if i was in the line, i explained no. This man went and stood near my male friend for the que whilst frequently looking at me.My work friend moved from my right side (the guy was next to him a little). Walked to my life side. stood facing this man whilst legs apart (man stance). This man would look at me, i'd look at my male colleague and he is just eye staring this man out each time he looks at me.What does this all mean? this male friend is 46 but we do have a flirty friendship.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (14 December 2012):
Hi. He could be treading very carefully as far as what to do next, and also keeping in mind the "office romance" situation, that I spoke of earlier.
As long as you are working together, just keep it fairly low key with him - friendly, although NOT being too flirty with him - and just see what happens over time.
Did you hear this information about his wife going out all the time, from him direct, or from someone else?
Are there any children?
If you don't know this at the moment, well then it would also be wise to somehow find out from him - without it sounding too nosey, just to be sure of exactly the situation at home.
And if there are any children involved, well then that will certainly complicate things quite a lot.
And if there are NO children, he could be at a stage of his life, where him and his wife are kind of going their own separate ways and growing apart a bit.
It's going to take some time, to find this out and so it would be wise to don't encourage him too much, to go beyond friendship, just in case.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHiya, he is married but i think un happy as he works late and says his wife goes out 5 days a week!
we have been hot and cold i try so hard to move on and forget him but it's not happening. i'm falling for him and for what, hes not even made amove.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (1 December 2012):
Hi there. It is interesting, isn't it?
Just for the record, is your male work friend a married man, or is he single?
I ask this question, just so I know that if he is slightly flirty with you, that you would have a chance with him romantically, if you were interested and he was available.
And you DO need to be sure of this somehow, before going any further with your work friend, so you don't get hurt.
Because sometimes married men can be a little flirty with young attractive women they work with, and yet still be very happily married at the same time.
So what I am suggesting here, is that you tread very carefully, if you are attracted to this male workmate, before you decide how you do feel, and then whether to give him any encouragement that goes beyond friendship.
So you need to keep things at friendship level ONLY, until you are completely sure of his marital status.
Don't go anywhere near him - beyond friendship - if you find that he is DEFINITELY married!
To do so, would be a MASSIVE mistake, and would lead to much regret and heartache.
And as well as that, there is also the issue of a rather large age gap between you.
You are early to mid 20's, whereas he is 46 years of age.
So even if you are 25 years old, he is another 11 years older than you are, which is quite substantial and puts him into another stage of life compared to where you are at present.
If he is married, he would be sitting at home a lot of the time and possibly with a couple of children approaching teenage, and watching television on most nights.
You on the other hand, would be out socializing with your friends and going to parties, nightclubs etc., and just enjoying a virtually carefree and worry free life without any particular responsibilities - which is the opposite to the way he would be living his life at present.
So it is a stark contrast to each other in this regard.
Also, your tastes in music could be very different as well.
And supposing he is either NOT married, or else divorced, well then his way of thinking would still be the same and he would NOT be particularly excited about visiting noisy nightclubs and going to wild parties.
He would have gone through that stage 25 or more years ago, so he would be pretty much over it by now.
So even though you get along fairly well as work mates, it's a whole different ball game if you were to start seeing each other outside of the work environment, and it would be then, that you really get to know each other properly and it would be then also, that you would start to realize how different your two life stages are.
In fact, you would most likely find that you had very little in common with each other, because of the two different life stages you both are in.
So because of this, it is probably very wise to restrict it to friendship only.
Flirtyness does not necessarily mean that he wants a relationship with you, it might just be how he reacts towards all young attractive women.
So for now, don't take it too personally.
And apart from all of the above, and supposing he wasn't married, and you did both decide to start dating, well then there is the problem of office romances, whenever there is an argument between you.
It always plays out in the office the next day, each time you have to deal with each other in your job roles. And it could be extremely uncomfortable for everyone - not just you and him.
So that's something else to seriously consider, should it ever get to that stage.
Now, getting onto the looks from your workmate towards the other guy who was eyeing you off, while you were in the queue at the cash point.
Your work mate could have been slightly jealous of this other man's attention towards you, OR, he could have been just watching out for you that this other man was not going to make a nuisance of himself.
Again, I would only take it with a grain of salt, and not too personally.
From now on, just take everything as it comes, and try not to read too much into it, because it could be, that it is nothing more than just slight flirtatiousness towards a young attractive woman - you - that he does with EVERY young attractive woman he meets.
Just his way, that's all.
In any case, just live each day 1 day at a time, and don't try and think too far ahead of NOW.
The main thing is, you DO NOT want to get hurt, by finding you are in love with someone, who just ISN'T available in the first place.
You DO NOT want a broken heart.
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