A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:how do i tell my boyfriend of 3 yrs im not happy, he hardly touches me anymore, i want to try for a baby but he dont, it dont seem like we r in a relationship its like we just exsist, we live together we argue 50% of the time, aand half the time it is me starting the argument because i dont feel like his girlfriend i dont feel like he really loves me at all, its like we are two lodgers living together that sleep together mayb once amonth, i dont no how to approch him ive told him time n time again how i feel butits like talking to a brick wall... please any avice wud be good thank you Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2012): We do not know the whole story but from what you are saying, this man does not want a life time relationship with you, you didn't mention marriage so that tells me you know not to mention marriage to him because you already know he does not want to marry you. You are not the one he want to build a family with because he not listening to what you have to say, you argue half of the time, he doesn't want a baby.
He's just hanging on to you.... so if he can't find the one he really wants to be with then he know he can swing back to you. Babydoll, if you feel that he doesn't love you, then he doesn't love you, follow your instincts, your instincts are telling you everything you need to know.
Listen babydoll....if you're in a relationship... and not happy... then it's time to get out and find someone that want pretty much the same out of life.
If you're having problems now, what do you think it will be like after the baby is here? You will be the only parent!!!!!!!!
Something is telling me that he's hanging on to you because you might be supporting him.
Babydoll, if you've been with this man for three years and you don't know how to approach him on how he make you feel in the relationship then it's definite time to split.
You should have split two and a half years ago... don't mean to be rude just want you to know I do not tolerate this type of behaviour from a man. find someone that will love you like you love them. Life is to short for the BS!!!!!!!!! Sometimes people don't want to break it off because it hurts but as for me I just suffer the pain and move on.
It doesn't mean he a bad guy, he's just not the one for you and maybe you're not the one for him.
Wish you luck!!
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (2 December 2012):
 Break up with him.
By the way, you can't ever pressure someone into having a baby with you. Sounds like you want to use a baby to keep him in your life, and that's really not a good thing to do.
Pressuring someone to have a baby with you when they don't want to is never cool. That's similar to pressuring a pregnant girlfriend to have an abortion when she wants to keep the baby. That's individual choice.
Never push for a baby unless both of you are enthusiastic about it without pressure, guilt, manipulation, or withholding.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2012): If you admit that you feel like a "lodger" and that "he doesn't really love you at all", then why on earth are you trying to get pregnant with him?
I don't think this is an issue about him or even something you should talk to him, I think it's an issue of your priorities. If this person doesn't care for you, don't try to get pregnant with him! Another life in the mix isn't going to solve your problems.
Sex is an important part of any partnership...if he's not responding or open to discussion about it, I would suggest ending it and finding another partner.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (1 December 2012):
 Probably not the best time to have a baby, unless you want to be a single parent. If you are telling him, nagging him, asking him, pleading with him and he isn't listening then maybe it's time for 'time apart' to see if it's sink or swim.
For both of you to fix the problem then you both have to seek a solution...if only one of you wants to fix it, it's not going to work.
Thousands of relationships go this way, people switch off, find eachother a drag and stop making an effort...then it just becomes a convieniently boring habit.
Women get vocal and men just sulk, sooner or later you both need to recognise that it's time for change and it's a test to see if you are really meant to be together.
time to draw a line in the sand and tell him you want him to help you try to put things back on track.
Talk, but try not to accuse or lose your rag.
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