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What does anal sex REALLY do to your body?

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Question - (2 May 2011) 10 Answers - (Newest, 3 May 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Another anal sex question.....

Okay, I want to try this (well we have three times, and I failed, I was just not relaxed and too tight I guess), and I've been reading all the how to posts and what to expect, etc., but the one thing I am a little freaked out about (only because I have seen it in porn, which I am fully aware I am seeing overblown and dramatic experienced girls doing this)......

Does your anus really stretch out and leave a big hole like that once the penis enters? I mean, how long does it stay like that?

View related questions: anal sex, porn, too tight

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011):

Thank you so much everyone for the feedback, I am the OP....I feel a little better about this....I don't want to overthink it, but I also don't want to do anything stupid or reckless either. I also did a search and came up with a lot of sites and did a lot of reading....liked this one the best: http://www.sexual-health-resource.org/anal_sex.htm

It's not an end all for me or my fiance, but we have such an active sex life that we both enjoy so much, we are always finding ways to enhance it. He has a little experience, whereas I have none when it comes to anal sex and he is aware of me being aprehensive.

A few of you have said I might be "loose" a little while to a few days after.... what exactly does THAT mean... I apologize for my being niave, a late bloomer when it comes to this paricular thing lol.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011):

I have been having anal sex with my wife for many years. She's only had ONE minor issue with a tiny tear, ONCE! No leakage, no crazy stories. No fecal matter, corn or any of the other crazy things one hears about. She doesn't have to wear a diaper, no leakage... nothing except crazy intense orgasms. These days we do it once or twice a month, but in college (when she decided to let me in back there) it was her favorite act to the point where we didn't have vaginal sex for about 3 weeks- I had to ASK for it!

The 'gap' that you see if fleeting. It happens for a few seconds and the muscles immediately start to return to normal.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011):

Make sure you go slowly, use lots of lube and communicate very well with him about what you want him to do so it's not damaging.

I would suggest trying anal fingering first

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011):

Properly stretched and lubricated with LOTS of foreplay and patience, and there should be little or no damage to the anus or rectum. Incontinence, prolapse, and permanent stretching is not at all common from anal sex. temporary looseness that can last a few minutes to a few days is about it. Gaping is a normal phenomenon with the anal sphincter when it is stretched, especially when the rear end is elevated, like in doggy position.

The anus is not made of Pla-doh...it will contract back.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (2 May 2011):

chigirl agony auntIt's like taking a big shit. Excuse the language. But that's exactly what happens. Your anus stretches out just like it does every time you go to the bathroom for a number two, and it snaps back tight again once you're done.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (2 May 2011):

person12345 agony auntAs long as you stop if it hurts a lot, you won't do any permanent damage. It will probably be a little loose for a few days, but it won't permanently damage anything. Women in porn look like that because they do it all the time, roughly, and frequently in porn they make them gape on purpose.

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A male reader, Cerberus Ireland +, writes (2 May 2011):

Cerberus agony auntIt depends on the size of the penis OP. It can damage your sphincter beyond repair and or give you a prolapse, make you incontinent etc. Especially for women in your age group. The women you see doing anal in porn are usually younger and their body is more able to cope. I can't tell you the percentage of the risk factor only that I know it is increased with age. OP the women that have those big gaping holes are usually the ones that have done it a hell of a lot and they tend to have severe incontinence issues when they get older. To my knowledge though, those girls actually use butt plugs and things regularly to force their anus open that way so they can take it roughly in those porn movies. They do that so they no longer feel pain.

I know it sounds very damning but those are the risks associated with shoving a foreign body up an orifice not designed for that. The simple truth is this OP, your anus may return to normal pretty quick, it my stay gaped for few hours after the act and be fine the next morning or it may be permanently damaged.

Mostly it's the former, but the anus simply wasn't designed for that. It was designed for the release of stools, if you're already tight then the risk of tearing, infection and irreversible damage is increased. Think of what would happen if you stuck a pen up your urethra, and shoved it in and out repeatedly, it's the same principle and has the same risk of damage.

As far as I know and from my experiences the risk of the gape is quite low. But you would be best advised to speak to your doctor about it first. They may be able to give you tips too. I know that may seem like a weird thing to talk to a doctor about but it really is the safest way.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011):

i do anal and have been for about 6 months. my hole has went like that after the first couple of times. it was very tight but it did loosen up. its like going for a number2 it stretches male or female all of the time. it only stays like that for a few minutes. my bf loves it, it turns him on.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011):

What your seeing in the porn is a relaxed anus muscle. It doesn't say that way. It's back to normal within 30 minutes. You have nothing to fear. Anal sex takes alot of trial an error. Use lots and lots of lube and go slow.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011):

That does return to normal after a short while to my understanding, I have never done it but I have friends that have and one of them actually got 'red sock' which is something that happens after anal sex if you continue to do it. It's safe for a while but if you do it a lot then you get red sock. In case you don't know what that is, if you happen to tighten your anal during the sex and your partner should pull the penis then your insides will come out with it.

If you don't tense when it's happening then it shouldn't happen but you may want to research red sock and find out a bit about it. Obviously it won't always happen but it does happen, it's definitely not unknown.

If I put you off I'm sorry I didn't mean to, I just thought you may want to know. Good luck if you should decide to try it. It may also help if you use lubricant.

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