A
female
age
41-50,
*G1977
writes:"OPs Own Title" I am 33 years old and I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years. I love this guy, but I know it's a very unhealthy situation. His mood changes daily. One day I am the best thing that happened to him and then next I am full of faults. We got engaged a year and a half ago. I broke it off in November. We had alot to work on. He moved out and we still continued to talk and I was not able to move on because my love for him was so strong. For the last month we got back together and have been together daily. This past weekend he flipped the switch AGAIN and told me he was undhappy and needed to be alone. He has text me and talked to me since then telling me he loves me and that he cannot be without me. Then a few hours later he ignores me. He told me he would call me tonight and has not. I don't deserve these games and why do I continue to allow him to play them? I know what I want. How do I stop this pattern? I cannot see myself without him.
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female
reader, Lovebug32 +, writes (4 June 2010):
That sucks... I'm so sorry for you, but I can TOTALLY relate. Did your boyfriend have a weird childhood, mommie issues or something traumatic happen to him in his past? Maybe he's emotionally unavailable... that's how my ex was. I loved him more than anything... we lived together for almost 2 years & he moved out 4 weeks ago today... It has been the toughest thing I think I have ever gone thru. One minute he loved me more than anything and the next he was gone. He flipped a switch in his head like you said. See, he said he wanted to marry me but when I pressed the issue a little bit, he ran. It's really CRAPPY & I think he has some major issues. See, I'm 32 and he's 30... I think you should totally know at that point, esp. after living together for 2 years, I mean, I'm like you.. I KNOW what I want & it's him.. why does he have commitment issues?? I felt that he was not giving himself to me 100% & it hurt because I gave him 100% and I was always honest with him... but even though I am grieving now, I think that there has to be someone out there who can love me the way that I deserve to be loved... there could be someone even greater waiting around the corner, but first we just have to have the strength to let go. It hurts, but it sounds like to me that you need to cut this cord. Do you really want to be with someone who can flip a switch like that? What will happen if you do end up getting married and having kids one day and THEN he does that? Because if he's capable of doing it now, he's capable of doing it any time. I know it's painful, BELIEVE ME, I am going thru it at this very moment and I feel like my heart has literally DIED. But I have to believe that it will get better day by day.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 You need to develop a more assertive personality so that your self esteem stays strong no matter what people say about you. If you have a healthy self-esteem, you won't spend so much energy getting his approval. You love him for who he was at the beginning. He turned out to be a selfish, insensitive jerk. Your partner is here to make you happy, not to re enact childhood unresolved issues. If you don't break up now you will soon be fed up with his hot and cold behavior. When I come home from work I just want to relax, cuddle with my partner. I don't want to work at a relationship.
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