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What do I do about my ex and I?

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Question - (9 March 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 10 March 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, *penheart4-eva writes:

I have this things in my mind that does not let me concentrate sometimes

well it was last year i broke up with the father of my son and got with this man who was my brothers friend we were both attracted to each other he was not happy and neither was i

he told his girlfriend that he did no longer want to be with her he gave her time to save her money so that she may be able to move to her own place and she did so he raised her son

he does not have any kids of his own so he told me to move with him and of course there was still pictures of them on the walls so i told him i felt uncomfortable he took everything down and threw it away except the kids picture because it really don't matter

but what bothered me about this is that she would constantly call him for any little thing and most of the time he would bring her kid over and she would call him even more even in the house phone so i started getting bothered and it came to the point where i picked up my things and went back with the father of my little one so i realized i really felt for him not for the father of my son so i went back to him and i don't know i sort of got a little worried because i ended up pregnant and it ended up being the father of my son because he can have kids

so i told him the truth he forgived and of so much stress i had a miscarriage and then i left him again after he was close to marrying me and i went back with my sons dad he went crazy he even passed by where me and the father of my son stay at so i had no choice but to call the cops and put a restrain order on him even though i did not want to but the father of my son made me do it because he said he will sent someone to do him harm and i said i rather for him to hate me but not for something bad to happen to him

so i did it and after a few days i felt that i should have gone back when he asked my brother and my sister to talk to me for me to go back to him he never bothered me as far as sex at night because im a type of woman that if im sleepy or tired i don't want to be bothered but the father of my son he is constantly always feeling on me and never stops bothering me unless my menstruation is present and sometimes i think is a sickness because this is all he thinks about instead of enjoying a movie thats all he thinks about

so anyways he never ended up hating me as a matter of fact we talk all the time we laugh about things and he went back with his ex she moved back into his house but she is always mentioning me to him and he tells me he still feels the same for me and i do to

he even gives me money when i need it but i try not to take it all the time his ex girl and him are always arguing and i tell him me and him made the biggest mistakes and sometimes i wonder would we ever be together again what should i do the reason why i did not leave the father of my son the last time is because i seen him lying on his knees almost crying but i can feel bad for someone im not happy with should i feel sorry for someone and not find my happiness

please help me someone thanks.

View related questions: broke up, his ex, money, my ex

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (10 March 2008):

rcn agony auntYou are confusing, like a yoyo between these two guys. You mentioned having a child? What sort of life is it for your child to bounce from one to the other. Children need stability. They need a home they can call theirs without wondering how long that is going to last. You keep asking what you should do to be happy. That answer is, what the best interest of your child is. It may be with the father, or the other, or it may be you remaining a single parent so your child isn't bounced from home to home. You need to focus on providing your child a safe, stable environment, and that needs to come before you make choices based on personal desire.

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