A
female
age
36-40,
*roy
writes:I am a woman in her late 20's. I have an acquaintance (ex-friend)who i have known for a while. For most of the time i have known him, he has been avoiding me and not allowing me to be apart of our group activities. Although is is very much older than me and is married, we all use to share good company for the first year of friendship. But now, my "ex-friend", who is close to another chic who eventually became his better friend. He gives her all the privileges in our group of friends. Whenever me or someone close to me want to do anything, he would ignore us. And when I would raise my hand to take on some responsibilities, he would just look at me with s blank stare, then look away. Yet he has known for me many year and at first we were polite with each other, and a little before he met her friend he became weird around me. But for the past 3 years, he always hides and stares at me. He seems apathetic and angry towards me when I am around. There hasn't been any gossip around or anything.I just want to know why he would want to watch me and intimidate me, if he does not care to be my friend or chat to me. He gets so sad-faced and closed up when i am laughing and talking. He hangs out with his clique that he has made for himself. Some of those people were my my friends, but they are drawing away suddenly and only hanging with him. I even think they are afraid of him. I know when you have an issue going on with someone, you should ask them about it or forget about it. But I cannot talk to him because he practically wont allow me near him and, secondly I am just curious as to why he's so mean, when everyone else treats me better. And when i try to participate in the group activities, he just looks at me, then look away to get others to participate. I would like to know what could possibly have caused this behavior. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, droy +, writes (10 November 2011):
droy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have his email and so does he, also have mine, in yahoo. When he comes online, i can see him in messenger. But he does not say anything. He just stays there for a long time (i know he would be busy with email, as he is a busy guy). But i thought eh would have spontaneously said hi. But all the time that he comes online, he does not say anything. I got his email and he got mine after his wife told me to send her a photo of myself and my sister to the email (it's his email id also). She never told me whether or not she got it (i sent it almost a year ago, which at that time she told me that she did not really use the email as much as he did)
A
female
reader, droy +, writes (10 November 2011):
droy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's very difficult to talk to him abt it. His wife is really nice to me and we still maintain a good friendship. she even bought a gift for me few weeks ago.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2011): does anyone else in your group of friends notice the way he treats you differently? Do they know something you don't?
is his wife part of this group too? maybe she got jealous of you and made trouble with him?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2011): First of all, it probably isn't anything to do with you personally.
He may have jealously issues, for example the fact that you are being friendly and nice to him and your other friends, may infact intimidate him.
There are normally 3 ways which people tend to drift to with jealousy; ignoring the person that they are jealous of, trying to get along with the person and fight through the jealousy, or getting angry and self loathing about the fact that they feel that you are better than them in someway.
On the other hand, have you thought about the possibilty that he may in fact like you a lot- possibly too much and so he is attempting to distance himself from you? One of my best guy friends started ignoring me and acting very strangely, so I confronted him and found out the he infact had extremely strong feelings for me- but he just didn't know how to deal with them.
People react to their emotions in bizzarre ways sometimes, which can be really upsetting for you. I guess you just have to play it out- It's up to him to pull it together. Maybe try and talk to him privately if you manage to get him on his own- or send an email where you can write everything down in one go.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (10 November 2011):
 The only way you are going to get any answers is to ask him straight out.
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