A
female
age
36-40,
*CK791
writes:What can I do to stop leading guys on into liking me as more than a friend? I just have a very outgoing personality and I just want a guy friend! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (25 July 2008):
 i know exactly wat you mean!!! well the thing you have to be aware of is flirting with them - even if you dont think your doing it you are, its kind of how we initiate conversation with men i think. the other thing is to always stick to group outings with them if your going out - if its just the 2 of you it puts you in that 'no mans land' area where your in between friendship and dating. i always find that dropping an "oh he's hot" into the equation doesnt hurt!! until you are really good friends with a guy you do have to watch out, and vice versa of course.
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (25 July 2008):
 I remember all this!
I would think I am not being flirtatious just friendly.
Lads often confuse being friendly and outgoing with flirtatious and coming onto them.
Perhaps the two do go hand-in-hand and you cannot truly flirt if you are shy? Who knows I never did work this out.
Perhaps a guy wants a girl to be outgoing and not shy in personality anyway, depending on how they are themselves, but you know what I mean.
So it is hard to have male friends, unless you are in a group from college or work who socialise as males/females together. Out of that situation I believe in sticking more with female friends.
If you go for a drink with a guy on a one-to-one it becomes a date, but if it's a girl it's a friendship. Just an obvious example.
Perhaps the word male friend makes things complicated and I wonder if it is possible in the real world. Yes I have a male friend whom we e-mail on various topics, and I would give him a lift home, but the distinction is I only see him with others around in a group.
I don't believe you can go round to a guy's house and nothing more be implied if there is nobody else there for example.
So it's not the definition male friend but how you spend time together that's the issue.
Fiona.
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