A
female
age
18-21,
jada_2008@yahoo.com
writes:I was sexually abused a lot as a child and I also felt abanded emotionally from my family when I was little, it seems every time I'm in a relationship I self sabatoge myself or am insecure dependent etc. What can I do how to I explain to my boyfriend I need extra love I need help
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female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (7 March 2008):
 So boyfriend comes in, fills empty void, heals past trauma, and makes happy?
I'm sorry for your abusive childhood, a lot of us unfortunately didn't get the best.
You are not looking for just "a little" x-tra love. You are looking for so much love, the world couldn't give you enough if it tried. Your poor boyfriends don't stand a chance.
You have to find this love from another source (God, higher power, Buddha, etc...). You are not doing this, you are not building this relationship so you are trying to gobble up your boyfriends.
You can also find hobbies and interests and other things to "make happy". You can do it!!
A
female
reader, babygirl08 +, writes (7 March 2008):
 First and foremost i want to congratulate you on overcoming the obstacles that have been thrown at you. When i was young i went through a similar situation, i was raped and molested for years by my parents close friend. It is really hard to have a relationship with all the memories. So i want to say that you are a very strong person and never let anything make you think that you deserved what happened to you. On to your question..... If he knows of the abuse, just tell him what is on your mind. He will only know what you need if you tell him and let him know what will make you happy. Guys are more sensitive than you think and he will likely really understand and come through for you. My boyfriend did once i really broke down and told him how i felt, he was really wonderful and helped me become healthy and confident. It is possible to overcome what you must feel is impossible. I am always here if you need help.Good Luck and take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Tell him you want to be overloved.Tell him you want him to dream of you and wake up thinking only about you.Tell him he should call in the middle of the day to say i love you or show up at your door with a booka.
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