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anonymous
writes: I am a 17 Male. Me and my fiancee have been together for 2.5 years. And all the times we have had sex, I have never given her an orgasm. And I was just wondering if anyone new why?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (22 February 2005):
 This is one of those questions that are best asked of your girlfriend...! It's a curious irony that two people can be intimate enough to have sex with each other, but not intimate enough to talk about it, when it's not quite right. But under the circumstances, you need to discuss your sex life with her to get her take on whether it's a problem.There could be quite a range of reasons that she's never had an orgasm, from shyness and repression to physical inability, but the most likely reason is that she's not getting enough stimulation from the penetrative act itself. Women generally need a lot more time to get into sex than men do. Half an hour of serious foreplay is not too much for some and still not enough for others, but the fact is that most young men are ready for sex in seconds, leaving their girlfriends not quite "there".That's not to say that you, personally, are doing anything wrong, but there's a good chance that she needs more "warming up". So, take your time! Try to find times and places to have sex where you don't feel you have to hurry.Try not to - as the old movie has it - go for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Spend a lot of time gently touching and stroking her, looking into her eyes, talking softly (talking dirty, if she likes that). Try water-based lubricants to help smooth things along. Ask her to masturbate while you're actually having sex.In other words, take lots of time, encourage her to participate in the stimulation and try not to give in to penetration until she's practically begging for it(!)Believe me, the result will be worth the effort, for both of you.
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