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What are his intentions? Is he just playing around?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 April 2018)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Dear cupid ,

Im a flighta attendant, ive met this guy onboard we were both very interested in eachother , we were flying to florida but it turned out he had a transit flight to another state , we texted when i had a lyover there he told me how much he wished he was in florida because he wanted to take me out to dinner he seemed very interested in me getting to know me , i went back to my country (middle east) and i told him that i had another states flights this month to new york and chicago , he said he was gonna fly to one of them to see me . Before those fligts he texted me alot and even video chated me , but then before my ny flight he said he had 2 weeks work in cali so we couldnt meet in ny but offered to fly me to cali i said i cannot cause its nt allowed for my job , but we spoke everday whilst there he said he liked me and he was looking for a serious relationship he even asked if wanted kids and what my plans for thr future is (even though i felt like its way to soon to talk about those things but i wanted to give him a chance) he talked about flying to my country multiple times to spend time with me , now that im closer to my other states flight he said that out of all the weeks ,thats the week he has issues leaving cali , i was a bit furious i felt like he doesnt want to see me in the states but rather fly all the way to the middle east to see me like why? I don't understand what he wants , ive asked him again r u loking for a casual thing or a serious relationship he said serious so i got a bit confused, am i over reacting or is he playing games ? plus he said that because of his job he will be transfering to another country to stay there for 3 years so iasked him how do u want a serious relationship if ur moving how r u gonna see that person? He replied with i dont know what do u think my options are ? Any ideas? , even though he told me that long distance ruined his previous relationships.

View related questions: long distance, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2018):

Sorry, sweetie but yes, he is playing games. He likes playing games with you. It amuses him, adds a little excitement to his day and strokes his ego. I'm pretty sure he is already in a relationship. Men who are interested always put words into actions. They don't beat around the bush.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2018):

I don't think he is serious about a relationship with you. He was definitely attracted to you, but I think it ends there.

I know you know that the airport and aboard flights is a place where so many people from all over the world meet. I wouldn't take each meeting too seriously unless he shows you with his actions that he is serious. Chit chats here and there, let it go.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (15 April 2018):

He's looking for sex and a casual-relationship. He can fly-in and see you whenever it's possible/convenient; but he will most likely maintain a real relationship with somebody else. If he doesn't have one already. You'll never really know. You're his "fly-girl!"

Come on, be realistic. Can you survive on sporadic-visits and hit or miss flight-schedules; and still conduct a meaningful romance? He'll meanwhile, try to juggle his life, a career; and fit you in wherever possible. More messaging and screen-images than anything else. You'll fall deeper and deeper for him!

Girlfriend, you're under 25! You will let your imagination create all sorts of lovely things in your mind; while reality sits waiting just on the other side of it.

All you see is what's immediately before you. You have to see the bigger picture. Guard your heart and feelings! Don't let fantasy get the better of you. Be practical and smart!

You can enjoy this for the sake of romance; but don't pile all your feelings and emotions on it. You're of two completely different cultures; and you're likely to get a lot more emotionally-attached than he will.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (15 April 2018):

Dionee' agony auntThis seems kind of a game to me. Talking about having kids and building a future with someone that you haven't even met properly, is a red flag to me. Honestly, perhaps he is a decent guy because he may even be one (who knows) but all of this is just too soon. You don't KNOW him, bare that in mind before going forward. It seems like you're keen and that's why you're here so who knows. It seems really suspect to me to be honest. If you want to give it more time then approach with CAUTION. If not, then end it now because he has a point about long distance relationships; they're really difficult to maintain and they rarely ever work out. So if all of these factors will have the odds stacked against you then perhaps it's better to just let it go now.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2018):

It sounds like nothing more than a bit of a chatup line. It costs a guy nothing to ask a woman/gal if she wants kids.

The gal always assumes the guy is implying he wants to marry her and start a family together.

But he doesnt.

He is just trying to pull you and lull you into a false sense of security.

This guy is not your soulmate but he is hoping you will think he is until he figures out what he wants to do with you.

He may already have a wife and kids and is looking for a quicky.

He wants to meet you out of state so that it will be a separate event to his normal life.

It's not mutually respectful or a sign of good things to come.

He certainly doesn't want commitment to you so drop him and try to earn the respect of someone else.

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