A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My friends have a problem.Okay,theyr'e both 17(well the guy is about to be 18)T(the guy)and A(the girl) are both virgens.They love eachother ALOT and have been dating since they were 13.So,they both talked to eachother(and me) about having sex but they're a bit stuck."A" has never gave a guy a blow job,"played" with herself,or used a tampon because she thinks that will made her not a virgen and she doesn't want to put her mouth were a guy pees.lol"T" has "eat'n" a girl out before and fingered a girl when they broke up for about half a year but got back.The thing is that "A" doesn't want "T" to finger her or eat her out because she's way too scared and grosed out.(She basicly gags over the fact that a guys mouth would go "down there")"T" looked up info on first times and he's trying to tell her that from many people it would be better if he eat her out and ect.Well,"A" heard that's it's better that girls goes on top but she's the scared about that too.The question is....How can I give them tips to calm down,relax,and get eachother in the mood and wet without them playing with eachother fist??They badly need help cus they want to do it.Also,so they can stop calling every 10 mins asking me questions when I'm a virgen too.and have no clue as to what to do.lol
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (21 January 2008):
One more thought: Because you said, "Also,so they can stop calling every 10 mins asking me questions when I'm a virgen too.and have no clue as to what to do.", it sounds like they're doing it mostly so they can brag about the fact that they've done it. Otherwise, why should you be involved in their personal activities, since you are obviously not an authority nor knowledgeable in this matter?
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (21 January 2008):
It sounds to me like they're not really ready to add sex to their relationship. Perhaps "sex" seems like the natural next step listed on some impersonal check-list of things that couples do in a relationship. It doesn't seem like they have the intimacy, emotional and intellectual attachment, and desire to please, that expresses itself in fulfilling sex. Given the length of their association they may even be feeling that "it's not like it used to be between us", and they (wrongly) assume that sex will somehow bring back the thrill.
Most couples use the activities you mentioned to extend and enhance the pleasure and satisfaction of sex, either while preparing each other for the actual coupling (foreplay) or during the resolution afterwards (afterglow, "coming down", or afterplay). Many of us used these activities to gain skill as lovers, learn about our partner's body and his/her responses, and give her/him great pleasure without actual intercourse. Often, this happened over weeks or many months before having penetrative sex. If your friends aren't comfortable with this kind of petting or outercourse it is unlikely that they will find sex satisfying on either a physical or emotional level.
Ask your friends why they think it's time to add sex to their relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Laura1318 and Maverick!! I'll be sure to let them see your replies so they can have a BETTER understanding of what would be best to do. And as for the charging for calls....I just might consider that.lol
Thanks again!! :D
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A
male
reader, maverick  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 Hello there
I can sympathise a lot with their situation. Sex education growing=up in the UK was alright - we knew waht things did, but no-one told use how use them.
As embarassing as it maybe I would strongly recommend them purchasing a book such as the Kama Sutra or a sex guide. These are available from reputable book stores.
First up the girl is not comfortable with giving a blow job - and that is fine. There should not be a push for her to do that.
Next, you cannot lose your virginity from inserting a tampon. As a girl to lose your virginity you would generally need to have your hymen split (which is furtherr inside your vagina) and a tampon should not go that far.
Also, when you do come to lose your virginity, and your hymen is split - it can cause a minor moment of discomfort.
I notice the main point you ask is about how to have sex without playing with each other. This part is usually called foreplay - i not necessary but practically every girl I've come accross insits on it.
In short, first time are very nerve racking - the easiest way, is for the girl to lie on her back, with legs left and right, and the guylying on her. He should use his knees and elbows to ideally avoid resting all his weight on her. Condoms should be used, and they should just start with that.
I wouldn't recommend the girl on-top for the first time as her hymen will be split, and that will be uncomfortable for the first time. It sounds like there is a lot of pressure from both of them on each other. Maybe they should take time out and talk to others as well?
Also, you might wanna charge them for every call they make to you. good luck!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 January 2008):
 They need to watch two shows together. First ,get them to watch a romantic show and then a porn show and they will be in the right mood.
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