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What about the age difference?

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2006) 6 Answers - (Newest, 18 January 2008)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi Im a 16 year old who is in love with a 35 year old man, we hwere close friends since i was 12, but i started to see this guy as more than friends, then i told him.... i couldnt believe it, he felt the same, but never acted on it cos of the age difference, he thought it would offend me. We have been seeing each other now for 5 months, and we are completely in love, he is the most wonderful, caring and loving man in the whole world. We have moved in together and are now trying for a baby, i know what some people will say, "your too young" "live a little first" etc etc, but this is what i have always dreamed of, my own family, and a man who is going to marry as soon as i turn 18 (my parents dont like him, so i have to wait till then). Sorry to go on like this, but i had to let you know about him before you all judged him as a cradle snatcher or worse. My main question is what do you guys think of the age difference and does it make a difference if i am truly happy or not???????

Thanks for listening.

View related questions: moved in, trying for a baby

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008):

hey chika! i don't think age matters! what matters is that you too are happy. i am goin through something like that right now. i am 16 and he is 23 and my parents dont approve at all either. i love him so much and he loves mi too! i am tryin to talk to my parents to let me marry him because all we want is to be together. but they both don't like him and we really don't want to wait because we want to be together and we are also tryin to have a baby. if you too love each other i hope you too are really happy together. and i hope everything works out for both of you so you too can be happy!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008):

To me age has no limit. You're only as old as you act. I'm seeing a man who is 56, I'm 18. I have a similar problem too though, my parents don't really know I am seeing him and I'm worried what they might try to do when they do. But we're truly in love and if your both happy then what should it matter?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006):

if you love him i don't think there's nothing wrong...i am 16 and i am dating a 54 year old man. i understand you because i feel the same i guess. age difference doesn't really matter cause its not a problem for us because i share the same things with him as i would with a guy my age, and besides its even better because he can help me alot and know how to make me happy i guess its because he has life experience. anyway, good luck!

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A female reader, auntie claire +, writes (31 January 2006):

auntie claire agony auntdear reader i won't judge you or your man i'm very pleased to hear that you have found some happiness for one thats the one thing people want most but can't find so well done you the age gap does have some concerns and i can truely understand where your parents are coming from (being mother of girls myself) it does make a differance if your happy thats the hole point of being in love that the other person makes you feel just how you want. i had my first child very young and it was difficult so i will give you this peace of advice its make sure 100% that this man will stand by you and the baby when it comes just stand ferm treat carefully and don't rush you have all the time in the world to do this don't try and do everything at once

i wish you good health and happiness and best of luck

i hope i've help you in some way

bye bye x

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A female reader, ecascen +, writes (31 January 2006):

ecascen agony auntGirl, if the two of you get along just fine, then you have nothing to worry about. Age doesnt matter. Im with a guy who's like, ten years older than me but we get along. The two of you may not have a lot of things in common coz you both belong to different generations, he might have a different thinking from yours, and some people may say that your'e not compatible, but you know you can prove them wrong.. I mean, you already have, havent you? And my mom, yeah, i take her advice, says that compatibility is not about having things in common.. It's about understanding, accepting and working your way around your differences. And happiness doesnt, and will never depend on your age. It's a state of mind which anyone can have. Only one thing in your letter bothers me though.. Why are you trying to have a baby? Your'e 16. Im only 17 and my guy and i also wanna live together so i can sorta relate to you.. But i know im not ready for a baby. We do IT, and sometimes, i think i get pregnant. Whenever that happens, abortion crosses my mind. I know it's wrong, but i also know that i will lose a lot of things that matter to me if i do get pregnant and dont do anything to terminate it. Besides, i also think of what other people would say. Remember that you are not the only person in the world whose opinion matters. You should also listen to others. Most of them know more than you do. If your bf loves you as you say he does, even if he's already longing for a family, if your'e not ready, he will wait. He's older and can take advantage of you. I hate telling you this coz i know how it feels coz people tell me this about my guy. Try looking at your relationship from another person's point of view but keep an open mind. Consider all options. Ask a lot of "what if's." Dont just think about what you'll get out of the relationship, think about what you'll lose then weigh them. Think, think, think, dont just feel. The heart can be easily blinded and the mind makes wiser decisions. I dont wanna sound like an adult here. Im not gonna say that i know how you feel coz i never will. Every situation is different for everybody. But im still a teenager and i know what it's like. I do hope i helped.

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A female reader, Taija +, writes (31 January 2006):

Taija agony auntdarling it does not matter at all im only 16 and im with a 45 year old man. as long as you are truely happy go for your life and dont worry your family will come around soon promise. guys like that are not cradle snatchers or perverts or anything like that its just destiny and destiny will play its course and you will live a very happy life. dont listen to put downs listen to your heart its always right. good luck sweetie :-D

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