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female
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*om_forever
writes: I have been married almost 4 years this March. All together we have been together 5 years. I think we should have not got married as soon as we did. In the past few years we have a few fights here and there, usually about his rude family. But usually within an hour we have made up and all is forgiven. We resently moved about 4 months ago and haven't had one disagreement whatsoever. Until the last 3 days we are so distant from each. The first night when I brought it up he was like "honey I am sorry I'll try beter tommorrow". However tommorrow came and went and nothing, so the next day I told him I was feeling neglected, he told me that I always have something to complain about. Since we have moved he is gone 12 to 14 hours a day and when he gets home he has a shower and sits outside with his brother until 11 - 12 o'clock at night and than comes in and goes to bed. Did I mention we have a 2 1/2 year old son? So needless to say I 99% of all the work myself, so you can see where I feel neglected. Anyway back to this fight, on Thursday last week I tried to get him to get up to fix the truck so I could do the running around and he refused to get up. So I went and cleaned the house and made a few phone calls, and went back in at 12:30 which would have given him 12 hours of sleep. I was tickling his feet, and without saying a word he pinned me down with his feet, our son was laying on top of me and than he would jump on to him. I yelled out "honey you are hurting me. please let me up" He pulled his feet tighter, so I punched him 3 times in the butt. He jumped up and threw me down on the bed, and started to full force punching me. I went to get up and he pushed me back down, he went to hit me again, but something stopped him. He got up and throw his shoes on, I came out to the living room and asked him what the HELL his problem was. He told me to get the *F* out of his house by the time he comes back. For the last week I have tried several times to sit down with him and talk this out but it never goes anywhere it always comes back to "you're leaving, so just go" Why should I stay? I am confused and frusrated to no end. Just yesterday he came around but I had noticed he took his ring off. I have asked him the following questions. Do you love me? Do you want to be with me? Do you want to be married? Can we work this out? Each question He said yes expect for the working things out. Everyone in my family, but my mom wants me to leave him. All my friends want me to leave, I'm just confused and don't know what to do. I have a plan on leaving for 2 weeks and not telling him where I am, and after the weeks call him and give him the number. If he calls after that work with him if not call it quits and go back home for awhile. ANY ADVICE? PLEASE DON"T HOLD BACK YOUR OPINION ! Reply to this Question
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reader, becky05 +, writes (8 August 2005):
As he has been physically aggressive towards you, then i would not consider getting back with him.
Who does he think he is to be treating you in such an awful way?
Fair enough, he may be tired from work but that is NO EXCUSE!
Decide what you want from the relationship and tell him that this is the rules he will have to abide by if you are to let him back into your life and home.
A
female
reader, purpleflyingmonkey +, writes (7 August 2005):
Hun he hit you and is neglateing not only you but your son. You should really leave him. By him takeing off his ring he want's out of your marrige. Perhaps there is another woman. Just call it quits take your son and go to your mom's house. He's not worth getting all worked up about.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2005): I don't know what's going on in his uncommunicative head, but I'd take the advice of your friends and family (sorry Mom) and leave. Make sure you check out your legal rights re child support, etc.
Whatever he is doing now is being registered by your son, and you do not want your son treating a future mate this way.
Maybe with time and counseling you can reunite, but the way it is right now, he's not good to be around.
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