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male
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*oalaBear
writes: I've known that my friend loves me so much and wants to be my girlfriend, but I don't love her at that way...What can I do next? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (6 August 2005):
 Be honest as soon as you can, and don't let her get any false hopes. I'm not saying that you should be brutal! Be as kind as you can (imagine yourself in a similar situation when you speak to her), but let her know that the feelings you have are strictly platonic and that you don't see that changing in the future.
When you see her socially in future, try not to have any meetings that could be misconstrued as "dates", so you should involve other friends as well.
Finally, try to avoid intimacy with her, in a way that's going to let her think that you're softening and that you're secretly attracted in a romantic way. So, no telling her about your secret hurts, or your dreams or your heart's desires.
I'm sorry that it sounds like I'm counselling you to be strictly superficial with your friend, but that's what the situation calls for, at least for a little while, until she realises that you don't see her as girlfriend material.
Good luck. Hope that I've helped.
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