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We've broken up, but is it all over?

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Question - (11 February 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 11 February 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, *rmrtnz writes:

hi guys,

my ex and i been broken up for a month now, and im torn. the day he left me i felt it in my intution. that whole day i new something was wrong i just felt it throughout my entire body, but i dont feel the same about us being broken up. I mean i know we've broken up, but heart and intution are telling me not for good, that there's still something there, but then part tells me to just move on and find someone new. If i was able to feel it when he left me wouldn't i be able to feel it if this break up was for good? I looked on his myspace and it says that he's confused. What can he be confused about if he left me? does it mean that he's still thinking about me and about us getting back together? the last night i was at his house he was being mean to me but i know why. just for the mere fact that he was with his mom and he had support all around him and i was by myself, but when he was acting like that i got a different vibe from him. i know he loves me and wants to be with me, i just don't know whats going on through his noggin at the moment. and i guess i never will. i just wish he would take everything i've done for him into consideration to make this relationship work, but it doesn't look like he appriciates me. how can i make him see?

it's been a week since i've talked to him last and it honestly feels good not to call or chase anymore, but what should i do now? i planned on leaving this door open to see if anything changes but i wasnt going to leave it open for long? i was going to leaving it as it is and just focus on my well being. will he ever come around? will he ever call? or should i just stick to my original plan?

View related questions: move on, myspace

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A female reader, BrknHrted United States +, writes (11 February 2008):

The best thing you can do right now is take everything and run with it. Just leave him alone until he knows what he wants to do. Try to go out, have fun, and meet new people. I know it is hard, but that is all you can do right now. I know that being around him breaks your heart. I have been through that exact same situation. When me and my ex broke up we still hung out and talked like we were going out. I loved being around him, but it hurt so much. You have to put your heart back together. I got to the point that I was becoming depressed so I had to let it go. Sometimes I have the feeling that its not over. But at the same time I just blow that feeling off so I wont be hurt. Just try to move on for the time being. If he comes back, he comes back. If he doesnt, he doesnt. Just dont set your hopes too high. You can't wait around forever for him. That gives him control over you. Just be happy, do things that make you feel good.

Good Luck!

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (11 February 2008):

hlskitten agony auntHi

No one can say if he will come round or call but i personally would leave him to it. If he is confused, he might well love you, but feels a bit too young to settle down with one person yet. Or it could be the unthinkable, that he has met someone else and doesnt know which way to go.

If he disrespected you when his mum was there, thats not good either.

I cant see if you said how long you have been together, but its not unusual for people to move on around the 18 month - 2 years time. Its the classic time for the honeymoon period to be over. I expect the younger people are the less this time scale is. (i cant remember myself!)

You sound like you have good instincts, knowing it was coming. Its not a bad way to be, can be a pain in the but at times also! But if he did the ending, i would definately keep some dignity and wait to see if he contacts me, however hard that will be.

Good luck.

C xxxxx

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