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We've been dating for 4 months and he still only wants to see me once a week

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 April 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2010)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I wrote in here about a month ago--about how I am seeing a great guy who only wants to see me once a week on Saturday night. It's now been 4 months--and still just once a week.

I kind of tested the waters without putting him on the spot with a direct question. He mentioned how he is so happy to not be alone anymore. I said that sometimes I feel really alone during the week when I don't see him. He said "I'm not far away." I told him that I miss him and feel really down sometimes during the week--he answered that he misses me too (and that he loves me).

Then I said that I felt like he is keeping a distance--and if the reason is that he is afraid there is something about him that I won't accept, then he shouldn't worry. I said that I love him very much and that anything short of another woman would not likely be a deal breaker. His response was just that it was very kind of me to say that--and that he loves me very much also. Finally, I said that I hoped that eventually he would want to see me more than once a week.

I didn't get any answer. Do you think that's a bad thing? He has been divorced for 10 years--do you think that's too long (as in he is just used to the single life?)

Do you think if he really loves me then he will eventually want to live with me (or be married to me)?

I know I probably sound like a nutcase--but I'm going crazy here. I can't eat, can't sleep--but I don't want to question him again. I feel that I should just let things ride for a while and leave it to him to talk the next time. I don't know if I can stand it, though. Right now, I feel like I have a rock in my stomach and I can't focus on anything.

I am so miserable. I know the last time you told me to give things a while and if after 5 or 6 months things haven't changed, then confront him. I don't know if I can stand to wait for another month or two.

Thanks to all of you for your kind responses in the past. I hope you can tell me something else that will help me cope with things.

View related questions: divorce

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010):

I can't tell you 100% if this is true because you didn't put more info about him.

But if any guys loves a woman he wants to be with her as much as he can and not once a week i mean seriously he might be just using you . You need to ask him why he only want to see you once a week. I can't belive what i m reading because no1 ever want to see their love ones only once a week. He is hiding something and you need to ask him what is it.

I mean if he loves you he'll won't keep a secret from you.

My oppinion as hard and bad it is he is cheating on you and using you the day he got free time and he's lying to you.

I'm sorry i wish i could write something positive because you seem like a very nice person.

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