A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:For the last week I have started chatting to this man online and to put it mildly it has been so intense.We have so much in common and we chat for hours everyday and it's been really nice.He has rung me on the phone and said he was very drawn to me and he wanted to meet me straight away....I do want to meet him but it has felt that everything has moved so fast...like he has come on so strong with me, saying I'm the one for him, that he's never had such a strong connection with anyone as much as me....I feel he's genuine and I know what he looks like as I'm very attracted to him....he wants to make me happy....is it too good to be true? As its happened do fast on how he is feeling with me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (23 November 2015):
 He claims the past GF's always dumped him... yet it's all their faults.... They had issues.. yet... HE was dating them. See what I'm getting at?
I think you will have a clearer picture of him if you meet him in person sooner rather than later.
But don't go into it with "closed eyes" because he is constantly praising you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2015): I'm in my 40's and earlier this year had a similar level of intensity by email with a man. When we finally met in person the red flags started to fly. He had poor manners. He wasn't 'quite' what I had perceived him to be physically and I found our conversations face to face stunted by comparison to our emails. Sometimes it can go this way. I would be cautious (optimistic) but realise until you go on at least one date you will not know. In my case it took five and I ended it. I also didn't sleep with him. He didn't like it and his final email to me was very different in flavour. There is a chance he is manipulating you. If you form strong boundaries and standards and stick to them you can remain one jump ahead of this intensity.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2015): He says that his past girlfriends have always dumped him, because they were troubled or had other problems, he said that he wanted to settle down and have stability in his life and that he was very drawn to me.I guess I'm not been used to this admiration from someone, as he is always praising me etc....also he lives 2 hours away from me so he's not exactly on my doorstep....Sometimes I think if it's too good to be true then it normally is.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 November 2015):
I think it IS a red flag when someone after a week makes a declaration of "The one". While you two have "talked" a lot over text/phone he IS still a stranger to you, and you are still a stranger to him. IT's been a week. The likelihood of him being able to ascertain that, this soon... seems a little unrealistic.
He is like a bottle rocket - and going by how many of those kind of guys I have seem described here on DC, he will fizzle once reality hits and you don't live up to his elaborate fantasy. OR he will keep pushing for a level of intimacy (not just sex) that doesn't always come natural till you know each other well. OR keeps pushing so you don't pay attention to the little things.
Met up with him. But do it in public, same with the next few dates. Have the first date be on the shorter side.
Things that you MIGHT normally regard as red flags or deal-breakers for you... are easier to spot in person, than in text/talk.
There is a REASON you wrote this post. You are feeling some apprehension to his "over the moon" attitude because 1. you don't feel the same and 2. it seems a bit too much too soon - am I right? TRUST those instincts. And if he is still trying to "force" this "instant love in a cup" and you LIKE the guy, tell him to SLOW down.
I also think that SOME people who are NOT good at relationship in general will general think it's NOT them but the "wrong" partner - so as soon as it's not going how they think it should go, they move on.
Personally, I'd be wary. I get love at first sight. But that is with someone you have met, had immense chemistry with - not someone you have only really chatted with.
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