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I'm worried he'll blab to others about what we did

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 November 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 November 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I have been seeing this guy for about a month, but he has only been my boyfriend for a week. Yesterday I let him go down on me, there was no pressure he asked and I said yes.

He has said he won't tell anyone but I worry that when he gets drunk he will tell people. Because of me age I know that if people find out I will be called all sorts of names and he doesn't seem to understand why I don't want people to know.

What should I do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2015):

He doesn't get drunk on a regular basis, he has never been drunk but there is a party coming up and I know the guys are planning to get him drunk because he's normally a really good guy and doesn't come to parties. He's 16 and I'm 15. Also I have none him for 5 years and we have been good friends.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (22 November 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Celtic Tiger here.

You don't know him that well. And if you can't trust him yet, you should WAIT with the sexual stuff.

You have dated him ONE week and known him for one month. Maybe you need to slow down. So does he.

As for the whole age thing... read Celtic Tiger's post. She is right.

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (22 November 2015):

celtic_tiger agony auntAlso - where did you meet this "guy"? Do you know him from real life, or did you meet him on the internet?

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (22 November 2015):

celtic_tiger agony auntBeing age 13-15 in the UK, legally you are still under the age of consent of 16. This applies to ANY form of sexual practice, oral sex (going down) on him or you, as well as penetrative sex and touching.

Legally you cannot give your consent, even if you wanted to.

You do not say how old your boyfriend is, but this also plays an important part.

The fact you gave in to your BF's request so easily shows him you are an easy target. Next time he will want something more, then more and then you could be in real trouble.

Understandably you are unsure of sexual activity, and you do not wish for people to know what you have been doing, because deep down you know that perhaps you shouldn't be doing it.

Whatever age you are, you have only been "seeing" this guy for a month, and only been BF/GF for one week - in anyones books that is a VERY short time to be getting intimate with each other. Taking your young age into consideration this is even more alarming.

How many times have you actually been out on a date? How many times have you been alone together? How many hours have you spent in each others company?

Probably only a very short amount of time I expect?

I know you feel that you are in love with him, and that the first flush of sexual feelings are incredibly strong - but here is some advice, don't give away your virtue too easily.

Boys will not respect you if you sleep with them quickly. They will use you and then move on to the next girl.

Boys should want to be with you, for YOU - your personality and the person you are, not just because you let them play with you.

If you are worried about people talking about what you have done, don't do those things you are ashamed of.

Say no to your BF, and if he gets in a strop you know that he only wants one thing.

If you have self respect in YOURSELF as a young woman, then others, including boys will respect you too.

There is plenty of time yet to have fun with boys.

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (22 November 2015):

There's not much you can do in this situation. You can pretty much expect him to tell someone, especially if he is around your age and drinks to the point of being intoxicated. You'll live thru this and you are probably not the only girl in your school who has done this and then been outted. When it does come out, the only way you can deal with it affecting your image is to lead an exemplary life style and hang out with kids who do the same. It'll take time but people will let it go once they quit expecting more news and gossip regarding your promiscuity.

Reading your post, I'm more concerned about kids your age getting drunk on apparently regular basis. If you want to elevate your reputation you will have to avoid doing that, as well.

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