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male
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anonymous
writes: I'm 38, she's 30. We were together 7 years. It was the dream relationship. Perfect. Except, I cheated. I didn't love this girl, but she was strong willed, and I gave in. It broke me and my ex up. We were engaged.I am devastated. But I am still seeing this girl. My ex is the sweetest girl, and we have kept in touch via e-mail etc..for the last 3 years. My question is. Is she over me, or is she still intersted. When she told me today she was engaged, she told me lets get dinner.Over dinner, she told me she wasn't sure if he was the one, that he doesn't put her first, and she has been living with him since march this year. She thinks he may have asked her since all his buddies are getting married. And then she said, "your not going to go away are you? You're not going to stop calling me right?"She mentioned this alot. I told her no, and that I still was in love with her, but in a matter of fact way. So, why did she tell me, instead of just doing it and moving on? And why, did she ask me to not disappear. We've been broken up 3 years, but as mentioned, we've kept in touch. We had such a great relationship, and she said I was a tough act to follow.Help please!! I want her back, but just saying so isn't going to do it. When I asked her if they had set a date, she said no, and that wasn't on her mind.
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (4 October 2006):
 Thats a tough one. I have always heard that if you love someone then you let them go and if they come back they are yours. All you can do is tell her how you feel and let it go from there. You are obviously still in her heart as she wouldn't ask you these questions. Time heals wounds and maybe she is over your infidelity and maybe she is afraid to entrust you with her heart, because you did shatter all those things when you cheated. I won't rass you for that because I am also guilty of the same thing with a woman I was with for 6-1/2 years. There is no law stating you can't tell her how you feel. You just have to prepare yourself for the response. Good Luck!!!
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female
reader, amerthyst0202  +, writes (4 October 2006):
 If you loved her so much ask yourself why did you cheat. a would you do it again, could she trust you. we always want what we carnt have. what if she decided that she didnt want you and went back to him. think about all the hurt you would both cause, think about what you both have ans could loose Think it through and talk to each other,
good luck
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