A
female
age
30-35,
*X1216
writes:Typical scenario: my boyfriend and I are high school sweat hearts and have been together for two years. Now we are both going to different colleges in different states. We both are still in love but realize that our decision to stay together is going to make life difficult. I'm open to the option of dating other people as long as nothing serious developes but he's not so much for the idea. I know that honesty and trust are the best tools to keep this thing going and we do have frequent visits ( I've been away for almost three months and we've seen each other twice already). If there any other tips, advice, or success stories out there? I'd love to hear them! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, penta +, writes (20 August 2007):
 If you can get him to agree to dating, that's best. Ask that one of the "conditions" be that anyone either of you date KNOWS that there is another important person in your life (it's more honest to the other people, too). As long as everyone is honest all the way around, then you have a better chance. Also, if you date other people and still want to come back to your sweetheart, you'll know beyond a doubt that it's meant to be.
I dated my high school sweetheart for 9 years. We were able to get into the same time zone for the last 3 of those years. We didn't end up marrying. Honestly, I think that the reason that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is that that person isn't around to piss you off... [grin].
Be very careful that you don't put each other on a pedestal while you're separate. You have this great person far away who is no longer a part of your real life. When you get together, it's a holiday. You do fun things and are on your best behavior. Then s/he goes away and you go back to your real life.
I think that if my sweetheart and I had been able to be together sooner, we'd have discovered that we weren't compatible sooner. We lived together the last 3 years of our relationship, and we really made each other miserable (which is sad, because he's a great guy who my parents loved and I loved his family).
I wish you better luck than I had.
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