A
male
age
30-35,
*rBrightside90
writes:Hey guys and gals,Ok I have this messy situation happening right now.The thing is, my ex girlfriend broke up with me about 8 months ago.Then I told her to never get back in my life, and I was happy for the next 5 months, before she started seeking contact again.I see her a few times a week now, we do all sorts of stuff that couples do, watch movies, go out for activities, lay in bed all day, and even have sex on occasions.It just seems like im back with her, but when I ask her she remains saying; We are jut good friends, bla bla.This pisses me off big time but on the other hand, I really like this girl. Also ive been out with friends and ive met a few other girls, so i told my ex about this and she got a bit jealouse but then started dennying that she was.It confuses me so bad, Im not sure what to do.Any insights?lots of love,MrBrightside
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LLindy87  +, writes (6 September 2010):
 Kinda sounds like she wants the best of both worlds. She wants the freedom to do what she wants (no strings attached), to flirt with whoever, to scope who else is out there all the while having you there to fall back on if no one else seems worthy enough.
You are being used my friend, don't be a consolation prize. Unless you're 100% okay with being sexual buddies, the ball is clearly in her court right now. She probably knows you'd have her in a heartbeat, but it sounds clear she is having her cake and eating it too.
I'd personally confront her on this, just be like "I really like hanging out with you, spending time with you and I really would like us to be more then friends, we'd be great together" and she could be like "Its perfect how it is, I like being just friends" and then if she responds that way or similar, stop doing more then friend stuff. Don't have sex, no dates, no anything else that couples do together. She might realize after you pull the plug on all that, that she wants you after all.
Even though right now the ball is in her court, you can easily flip that with stopping the pretend dating part. Then she'll know that you mean business.
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