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female
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anonymous
writes: Help! I am in a 10 year relationship, we love each other very much but it seems to want more from life than my partner. He drinks every night to relax from his stressful job. I go to the gym to keep myself fit.I think I am having a mid life crisis (I am 34)and I dont know if we should seperate or stay together. We have a house, no kids.I dont find it easy to open up any more hence talking turns into an argument.......I would love kids but sex is non existant something we are trying to sort out..my thoughts are his drinking makes it difficult for me to say what i feel so when i do it comes out in an angry way, he doesnt think drinking has any effect on our relationship.He is the most genuine guy you could ever meet - help! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (6 May 2006):
 The problem you are having my friend is that it seems you dont communicate properly, nor do you spend "quality" time together as partners and as a result what is happening is as you said, you go to the gym and he is drinking himself into oblivion and that is not healthy. Perhaps your partner needs to consider his job, because if the job is causing him stress, alcohol add stress = DISASTER. Yes, it seems easy to just walk out of this relationship because there are no kids involved however, the emotional ties you have after being together for 10 years will be too strong therefore you need to both sit down together and lay everything out and tell each other what you want out of the relationship and where the relationship is going and how the two of you can make it better. As for trying to sort out sex, well what you need to do is start wooing each other again, no sex ina relationship (i.e no intimacy) means the relationship will slowly fade away. Intimacy is important in marriages etc and if you dont have that, my friend, there will be issues. Hope all goes well. xXx
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