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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: After dating for 5 months, I got pregnant and miscarried. He then said he just wanted to be friends but now we are having sex again. I told him "friends" don't have sex, so don't break my heart, but said I wasn't pushing him for an answer until he was ready to give me one. He got me a "friend" card for v-day but we still had sex that night! Should I leave or stick it out and wait to see if we end up together? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (19 February 2009):
 Honey, I am sending you some vertebral bodies to add to your spine. ~~~~~~spine~~~~~~~ If you don't want him to break your heart, don't hand it over. If he wants to be "just friends" then don't let him snow you back into bed. He's scared, my guess, but you deserve a guy who respects your heart.
So you don't have to push for an answer, but don't let him push you back into bed if you don't want your heart broken.
Take the decision about going to bed with him back out of the equation. You're obviously more vulnerable in this relationship, if you say you don't want him to break your heart, so please, DON'T hand it over to him!!!
~~~~~more spine~~~~~~
Be strong, you can do this.
I'm sorry for your miscarriage. A true friend would be too, and would respect the boundaries you set. Think about that.....
~~~~~more spine~~~~~~
Take care.
A
female
reader, tammye17 +, writes (18 February 2009):
 if you want this guy to respect you and your feelings dont have sex with him, let him see that u are serious about what mean and that you are not just a booty call, he should have been supportive toward you instead of an ass....if he hurts you stay away from him in the long run hes just going to keep hurting you
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A
female
reader, moonmaiden +, writes (18 February 2009):
I think the pregnancy scared him away. He treats me the same but lately seems to want me to hang out when he has his teen-age daughter for the weekend. His daughter and I really bonded over V day weekend. I don't want to involve her though. Should I give him an ultimadum soon? I'm afraid it will push him away so maybe I should wait a bit longer?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): I think we split because the pregnancy scared him. He still treats me the same, but it seems like he wants me around more when he has his teen-age daughter for the weekend (more so lately). His daughter and I really "bonded" on V day. I'm afraid to push him away but maybe give him an ultimadum soon?
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (18 February 2009):
 You told him your terms, you just need to stick to them. Definitely leave him, at least until he's ready to make a solid commitment to you... otherwise, no more sex for him! I wouldn't even bother with the cards or any other kind of effort. Show him what life is like without you and if he's not an idiot, he'll realize what he's missing and give you the commitment you deserve.
In the meantime, get out there and find a better fella who will give you his whole heart and devotion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): sounds like my situation, its a hard one when you love someone you take the rubbish they chuck at you, i am allowing it coz i think he will change his mind and want me or at least i hope he will.
why did you split?? was it him?? is he still treating you the same as before??
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