A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I love my boyfriend to pieces, and i now he loves me too, when were together all we seem to do is talk, he's never once tried to take advantage of me, and knows i'm not ready for sex+that. He's like a completely different person when were together to what he's like around everybody else. When were just walking around i feel lost and like i'm somewhere else with him.The thing is, he's not as perfect as i'd like him to be, he smokes +does drugs every now and again. He doesn't smoke like 20a day, but quite a few. He knows i don't like it but it seems impossible for him to stop. Another issue is he seems to get angry and frustrated alot of the time, he hurts himself physically and seems gets violent, (not with others, just himself) and i'm scared of him doing something really stupid.I'm a bit of a mess myself atm, as i'm going through a few rough patches at home +school, and it just seems to be getting too much.I can't end things with him, as i love him too much, how do i sort this messy situation out, and try to help him in anyway i can?x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DearSteve +, writes (24 April 2008):
 There are many ways that you can help him, but don’t try to be wonder woman. With problems of your own to sort out, do not get consumed in his, especially if he isn’t as keen to help himself. Some people smoke and they enjoy it. You have to ask whether you want him to quit for you or for himself. As for the drugs, they may be a contributing factor to his frustration and angry outbursts. Try talking to him. If you’re scared by his outbursts, let him know that. Tell him you want to help him, but he’s got to help himself too. You may not be equipped to deal with the underlying causes of his frustration, so recommend he speaks to a adult he can trust, either at home or at school. Although he’s your boyfriend and you say your love him, take time to concentrate on your own issues before throwing yourself into his, because if it ends tomorrow, he won’t thank you for it.
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