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female
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anonymous
writes: Okay I know this is gonna sound so bad but okay. I dated this guy about 5 years ago, and 4 years ago.. and we had a thing about 3 years ago (before my bf). I have a boyfriend who i've been with for 2 years and 7 months. Me and my boyfriend have had heaps of ups and downs and he's hurt me alot and this guy has always been there for me whenever I was down, and we're best friends too! He was the best to me when we were together but I was young and I dunnooo.. I broke up with him all 3 times. Now whenever the subject of us dating BAcK IN THE DAY comes up he totally avoids itWe hang out from time to time cause I still see my friends from school, I've just graduated and I saw him kiss my bestfriend who he said that he didn't want to because they grew up together but so did me and him we had a crush on each other when we were 4 and went to the same school, but didn't find out it was each other until we came to school for show and tell in year 6, he came with a photo of me and him huggin in the play ground haha. The thing is, the kiss upset me and now they are hanging out lots, she has a bf and so do I but I've always felt like I was the first girl in his life, cause we're best friends.I know it's selfish please help me deal with it and move on with these feelings =(
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female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (4 October 2008):
hiyahh, youve done the hard thing by admitting you want to move on no the hard part, actually moving on! yeah you have a past with this gu (everyone has that first one thats never forgotten) but its not always a happy ever after for ever if ya get me. The thing you used to have no longer exsits however there obviously is the feeling side of it on your part, it seems from what youve said the guys moved on just like you. hes havin fun and sees you as a mate now although the past will never change itll always be there but you have to remember it is the past.
its unfair on your current bf espically after being with him for 2 years now. Everyone has ups and downs but no matter what they were if there still putting doubts in your mind in your current relationship you should seriuously consider what you are to do.
Nobody can decide for you but it seems your mate feels youv moved on and he is doing too.The fact that he kissed her and shes gt a bf is a bit strange kind ov cheatin? espicalluy as they still hang out not really a healthy relationship so hes obvioulsy just havin fun.
Youve known him so long shared so much but when will it be the time to let go? you have to decide and do you love your bf? if your havin doubts like this it questions your relationship. either get out of your relationship or work at it but stop the past from destroying it. you need to focus on which one you really want before somebody gets hurt. i dont think your selfish though its weried but it does happen to a lot of people so dont blame yourself for your feelings just sort them! hope this has halpped sorry its so long
Hope it goes ok x :)
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