A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 18 years old and was seeing a 19 guy for a few weeks quite seriously. then everything went a bit wrong and we stopped seeing as much of each other. he made it very clear he didn't want a relationship and so we left it casual. now he has found out that i had a fling with another guy and has got very mad at me, refusing to speak to me. i don't understand why he's acting like this when hes made it clear we are not serious and i am not his girlfriend?? he is also making out that he has stayed completely innocent around other girls the whole time we've known each other (about 3 months) whereas i do not feel this is at all true. is he acting like this because maybe he liked me more than he let on? or does he just like having me under the thumb? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): We don't know if he is really seeing other women or not. I agree with DoubleM and xray2112 as to why he is acting like this and don't have much else to add. However, I do have some advice to people who desire to date more than one person. My wife and I both did this after our divorces from our first spouses and we both made it known to all of our partners that we intended to date others and might do so. I think it worked well for both of us and I think it is a good idea to be up front in the beginning about something like this, casual or serious, although there is no point in telling a 1 night stand.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 August 2008):
I think when he said he wanted to be casual, his idea was that you and all his other girls would be at home (probably in some kind of lingerie) thinking of him all day, while he swanned about being cassanova.
He did not expect you to actually dare to try and do the same and do it better than him.
Tell him if he can't take the heat then he should stay out of the kitchen. He's a little boy.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, xray2112  +, writes (2 August 2008):
A very common reaction. It's good old jealousy my dear. Even if a guy is seeing someone casually, he can't stand the thought of her being with anyone else (in any capacity). My guess is he DOES like you more than he let on.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 Remember this: Men are basically possessive and territorial. Most humans are, actually. We grow a bit wiser with the years, but your casual boyfriend is still quite immature.
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