A
female
age
41-50,
*rying4Me
writes:I had been seeing my boyfriend for almost two years and while it seemed we both wanted the same things...i carried the relationship fully the fummy part is that i was blind to this. When i realized that i was taking responsibility for our relationship and putting forth all the effort i became more sad and felt very neglected at times. While my mother always said communication was the key i found myself talking to a brick wall and also started hating the sound of my own voice like a record skipping over and over. I felt i could not let go or give up because i knew in time he could be my perfect one just had some glitches to work out but down the line i didn't feel like part of a happy healthy relationship but more like i was filling some void in his life because he was so selfish with his time and only concerned with his needs. He is still married though living alone but still holds on to a great deal of his past life at the same time always letting me know he only wants to spend his life with me...only thing was his words and actions did not match up??? the last straw for me came when i foolishly found myself with an oops pregnancy..the pain i feel now is deep and great but i do not want to have a child and know the father is not being the committed man he said he would be..he wants me to keep the baby and i said well then we have to discuss our future and explained to him we don't want the same things right now and i was looking to start the life we said we would..he said he wants the same but is unable to give it at the moment. i said all of our bickering comes from being on diffrent pages he is looking to date me while i am looking to share my life with him..because this is what he claimed to want...so i decided it was time to move past this i just got tired of hurting but he says he won't leave my life..i have asked him not to call and wish him the very best in the future i know it will be hard but i'm willing to go through a period of hurt and pain Vs a lifetime of heartache..so my question is after almost two years did i make the right choice?
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female
reader, Trying4Me +, writes (15 February 2009):
Trying4Me is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the answer..i greatly needed to hear this. We also split today but i saw it coming i def understand feeling deceived...it was very frustrating as well are split was friendly and this made the hurt more but i feel the friendly way in wich we parted also made it more final for me. Hope all is well with you..i myself while hurt am looking forward to letting go and not having my future hang in the balance..all the insecurity caused by his lack of honesty about what he could really bring to the relationship...ahhhh well such is life lol
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): HiI hope and believe you have. I have just been through a similar situation. In love with a man who although acted in love alot of the time, and would then back off when things seemed to move forward between us. He did at least have the decency to be truthful and not say he loved me, but i do feel a bit deceived by the way he'd act with me. I clung to the hope that someday he would feel propery in love and want more than just dating, but after a year and a half I needed more and he admitted for him things hadnt moved on at all- but loved our relationship and everything about me!!. We split today, and although upset, I also feel relieved that i dont have to agonise any longer if staying is the right thing. The split was very friendly and we may stay in touch- we'll see, but i feel ok with it , knowing i want real love in a relationship. You deserve this too , as does everyone, so my thoughts are with you, you made a brave decision. I do feel that after a year , definatley by two if a man cant commit then the chances are he never will. xx
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