A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey i need some help and im hoping someone can advise me about my situation...i recently got together with this guy after a being unoffical with him for 8 months... we started off just as a fling, just fooling around and enjoying each others company, i had fallen for him stright away but it was one sided from the start as he claimed he wasnt ready for something serious... i then realised its not worth playing 2nd fiddle to any guy that doesnt want to offical with u... so i walked away... weirdly he didnt want me to walk away and told me he wants me and wants to be with me as he doesnt want to loose me so anyway we decided to get together... its been 3weeks offically as a couple but im now feeling alittle weird in the sence that i feel its always physical with him... ive never slept with anyone and dont intend to (He knows that) but whenever we see each other we talk and love being around each other but he always wants to fool around, whether its in the car or in the cinema, anywhere really lol dont get me wrong i do enjoy it but i just dont know whether thats all he wants... its kinda weird coz we talk soo much over the phone like 3/4 hours a day so it cant all be physical but just feels like when we see each other he just wants to fool around... i dont know how to go about it... HELP Reply to this Question
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female
reader, superrrshawna  +, writes (11 August 2008):
 it sounds like there are mutual feelings and mutual interests if you two have been together for a while and are in a somewhat substantial relationship.
that being said, you're in the 18-21 age range, which to me says college. i'm good friends with a lot of fraternity guys and they're all about the lovin'! so i think 2 things. either he just really cares about you and being physically close to you whenever he can be is his way of demonstrating this or he is just your normal college age guy who likes fooling around in general haha.
either way, it isn't necessarily a bad thing so don't count it against him! it sounds like he knows he won't be able to seduce you to bed and he still wants to be with you. but feel a little empathetic for the poor kid! he wants something [and someone] he cannot have! it can't be easy!
honestly though, go with your gut. women are pretty intuitive and i can't give much more advice than that without personally knowing the two of you!
good luck!
A
female
reader, lena89 +, writes (10 August 2008):
wow that sounds EXACTLY like the situation that i'm in. except, i am ending it with the guy because I feel used. your guy and my guy sound exactly the same, let me guess he's older than you right? the thing about them is that they are very possessive!! they dont really want to commit to us but they dont want anyone else to have us. if all you really do together is fool around, then that's prob all he wants. my advice is to just leave him (i know its the toughest thing in the world) but in the long run, you will be better off. that is what im doing but again, the choice is entirely up to you.
good luck babes and i hope it works out :)
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