A
male
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:When I was 6 years old and my sister was 8 years old, our parents were arrested (they were using drugs themselves, making drugs and selling drugs). My parents siblings couldn't take us in dye to different reasons and all four of my grandparents couldn't due to age and health issues. My dad's second cousin decided to move to where we lived, contacted a lawyer and took us in. His grandmother left him land with a house near our families (cousins, aunts and uncles) so we had a place to live. We always called him Uncle Justin but he was like a father to us. While our parents were in prison, he took us to therapy, brought us to school, helped us with homework, took us to after school activities (scouts and 4H), took us on vacations, est. He kept sure we got to see our grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. He took us to see our parents in prison (after talking it over with our therapist).Our parents are being released from prison in the next few months. My sister and I are happy that they are being released but we are also nervous. We love our parents but we want to continue living with our Uncle Justin. He is the one who been taking care of us for ten years and he gave up so much for us. How is the best way to ask my Uncle Justin and our parents to continue allowing us to live with Uncle Justin? We want to be a part of our parents lives but we don't want to give up the safety and security that we have living with Uncle Justin.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2022): Being released from prison doesn't mean an automatic acceptance into society.
I very much doubt that you would be expected to live with your parents when they can scarcely look after themselves.
I'm assuming they will have certain terms and conditions on their release and disrupting your current lifestyle would be a very unlikely option.
You're assuming your parents have the same level of control and authority over you that they previously had but that is not the case as you have an established and settled life that they should be proud of and grateful to your Uncle Justin for.
However, I do see them wanting to establish contact with you and I think it quite possible that they may ask to live with your uncle as well at some stage.
If you talk with your Uncle Justin and tell him that you have got used to being with him and feel settled where you are then he will very probably be able to reassure you that your security with him will not be disrupted once your parents are released.
However they will expect to be reintroduced in to your life by way of contact, visits and potential outings.
Many people find it difficult to readjust to the outside world after incarceration so please don't place your expectations of your parents too high.
They may wish to take up the reins of the family whilst also realising that it would be very difficult to do so in their circumstances.
You could also have a word with your teacher about your uncertainty surrounding your future, but please speak to your uncle first in a practical manner.
Just ask if your daily life will change and will your routines and social activities remain as they are now?
That should get the conversation started.
You have plenty of time to break the ice and broach this topic.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2022): This is a decision that has to be resolved between your Uncle Justin and your parents. Ask him first if he would want to take full custody of your care; but he can't do that if your parents won't agree to it. Things like this have to go through a court, and he would have to seek your custodial care through a judge.
If he went through as much loving-care as he has up to now; somehow I believe he'd be willing to do whatever it takes to keep you in his care. It just might not be easy; unless child protection services deem your parents unfit to take you back. He might be able to seek legal adoption; or apply through a court to be your legal guardian. Depending on the laws of your state; where you go may be entirely up to a judge, and the recommendations of a social worker assigned to you by child-protection authorities.
I'm so glad to hear a family-member took you in; and gave you and your sibling the love you deserve. I hope, be it God's will, you'll get to live with your Uncle Justin; if that is what you both want. You'll still have to reacquaint yourselves with your biological-parents. It might be very awkward, but you still have to give them a chance. I'm so sorry that they let you both down.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 September 2022):
 Do you guys have a social worker? If so, TALK to Uncle Justin FIRST, tell him what you would prefer and if he ALSO rather keep the two of you, contact your case worker/social worker and perhaps a lawyer that deals in family court matters.
It might BE that you can NOT stay with your uncle and it might be that you will be able to.
But my advice would be to talk to your uncle first and then figure out where to go from there.
I'm glad you had someone step up and be there for you and your sister. And I hope it can be worked out so you can stay with him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 September 2022):
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