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male
,
anonymous
writes: Someone I know is being emotionally blackmailed online. He is split up with his wife and lives alone now. She is married, lives in the USA and he is in the UK. She says she has cancer and 'just wants to be friends' with him but to be honest we are not sure she does because he has called the hospitals where she was supposed to be but they never heard of her. He tried to block her out of his life but can't seem to find the heart or gets afraid that she will actualy kill herself. She follows the classic symptoms, laying guilt and blame on him for trying to get away as it drained him so badly.She sends him emails every day, sometimes many times a day ranting and sems very unstable. When he came to me he was in a state and I was worried about him and her.He told me that he has to follow his heart and will be there as long as she needs him. This has been going on for 4 years, Surely someone who has had cancer all that time would be cured or (dare I say it) dead by now?He does not have her home address but I told him to find out somehow and tell her husband what is happening, but he refuses saying what harm is it doing giving someone some support when down? he KNOWS what she is doing and now refuses to talk to me about it.. I fear he will be trapped for many years to come as nothing seems to change.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (28 November 2006):
 Nothing you can do about this so just back off it. Be there for him but stop nagging him about this. He's a big boy, let him handle his own life. He'll let you know if he needs something from you.
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