A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello :) Alrighty, so I'm in a little crisis with my new "lover." We've already told each other that we're interested, and he would like to date me. But, he is in eighth grade, and I am in 9th. We do really love each other very much, but sometimes I doubt it. When we text he will reply with two-letter words or just one-word responses. I might just imagine that he is bored with me only because I'm used to typing smiley faces and other emoticons. He doesn't do that much and sometimes I can't see that he is actually content. I've been drowning him with stories of my problems too much lately, and he helps with effort but when I apologize each time, he tells me to stop saying sorry and just be me. I feel like we're reversed, where he is older and I am younger. I believe that I am trying to score sympathy or something from him, due to his lack of excitement through text. We will meet up in a few months at school, and I want him to meet a new me. What can I do to fix this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): First of all, how can you "love each other very much" if you aren't currently dating, nor do you actually hang out -- just text? No offense, but that is immature. I understand that you are only in 9th grade and that is often how early high-school relationships go, but honestly, it's impossible to understand much about someone or what they mean via text messages. You can't hear a voice, you can't see facial expressions, some things don't seem like they're in context. If you two really want to date, start talking on the phone at the very least.
As for you drowning him in stories about your problems, try not to do it. You aren't close enough yet for him to be your confidante if you only text. Instead, talk to close friends about your problems and focus on getting to know each other. Find some common ground and talk about things you're both interested in. That's much better for sparking a conversation and discovering any kind of chemistry you two might have.
Best of luck.
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