A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have admired this guy for years and recently we got closer and made love. Now he tells me he is going to live overseas next May, the day after we make love. I would never have made love if I knew this. I don't know how to feel or what to say. I don't want to not see him, don't want him to leave but also feel now I am just being used cause I believe if you make love it's forever? Help me I'm going crazy not understanding this. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (17 September 2010):
 "he is not trustworthy. Inform his parent n c how they react. He got to be expose of taking advantage of ppl. Last resort report to police on rape."
What the?!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 September 2010):
 If in Australia grown up women feel legitimated by what they see and hear around them to believe that once you make love, then it's forever... it must be a wonderful place and I am moving there tomorrow.
Ok, forgive the hint of sarcasm, I don't mean to be rude , just I am a bit skeptical. I don't think that you have reached your age assuming that if you have sex ,it means it is forever;
it may be that you have had a sheltered existence and have been spared heartbreak,or betrayal, or simply people changing their mind,... but please don't tell me that the majority of your friends relatives neighbours etc. are still together with their first sex partner, because I would not believe you.
I think you rushed into sex and don't want to take responsibility for that, you prefer to blame it on the guy.
For some reason, I don't think he is a callous ,heartless
seducer who withold that information on purpose , it's more probable that you two were not on the same page and did not have the same expectations about your relationship.
You are fully entitled to want a stable,long- lasting relationship - but, next time, check with the guy first, rather than assuming he wants exactly what you want.
As for now till May, since what is done is done, I'd tell you "just relax and enjoy "- but I am not sure you could handle that , so perhaps it's more prudent to just let this one go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): he is not trustworthy. Inform his parent n c how they react. He got to be expose of taking advantage of ppl. Last resort report to police on rape.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (12 September 2010):
Yeh, I think older sister hit the nail on the head.
If you think that when you make love that its forever then maybe in the future you should date for much longer before jumping in the sack.
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