A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I have been talking to this guy I met on an online dating site, and I really like him. But I'm concerned about the distance between us. I mean its not that far really, but its far enough to make it difficult to see each other (about 2 hours ) also the only day in which we could meet up is sunday. I'm concerned because I would like to see my partner more often than that. I don't know whether to break it off with him or not because of the distance ?Thanks in advance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2012): I wish my partner lived only 2 hours away. 3 years and counting, and he lives in another country. No I did not meet him online. Lol.
If you have doubts now, they'll only grow. Let it be for a month or so and then reassess, but make the effort to see him, to really see if you can do the distance.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 March 2012):
 IF you feel that two hours is insurmountable then you should be nothing more than friends.
I had a 2 hour by car LDR. WE had made IRL a few years before so we actually knew there was a physical and chemical bond as well as a mental bond and it was worth it to us to go slowly and build up...
I spent from December 2010 through June of 2011 driving 2 hours to his apartment at first once a month then twice a month and then by March 2011 it was every weekend. Occasionally we did a mid week visit.
By the time we had decided to move in together (and that is the goal of an LDR to NOT be an LDR) it was June and we spent the entire summer together as he cared for me as I recovered from major surgery. By December 2011 one year after we started, we closed up his apartment and he moved down here with me. (he lost his job but we are managing that as he job hunts)
2 hours isn't really that much... we drove that far yesterday to see a jeweler and play some board games with our friends...
you need a lot of things in an LDR
trust
honesty
communication
regularly scheduled visits
and mostly a PLAN TO END THE LDR... whether it be in one year, two years or when school is over for the first one...
without transportation 2 hours can seem excessive... with personal transportation or a good rail or bus system... it's easily workable...people around here commute that daily.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): I kept a long distance relationship going for 4 years and it was a lot further away than 2 hours. However it never worked out and they rarely do. Very tough pathway - so make a decision and do it soon.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): He`s not your partner, he`s a guy you speak to over the internet.
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