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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: One evening when i was in a bar with my friends this girl who i've known for nearly two years and used to talk to for hours everyday was also out. I've always liked her, literally from the moment i saw her! Well we were flirting a lot that night! In fact she initiated the flirting first and i knew she really liked me anyways because she told me not long before i saw her. So thing were going great!We kissed quite a few times this night, but then she found out i was seeing someone and got angry at me and said she felt used and an idiot. But she never asked me if i was seeing anyone, she just assumed i wasn't so why is she angry!? I didnt use her did i? I don't see what i did wrong? Personally i think she overreacted! It's not like me and her were together anyways and it was just a bit of kissing?I did say sorry the next day and that i do like her and always have, because i do and i know ive screwed up whatever chance i had, especially since she is definitely out of my league! But she said she doesn't care, because she wouldn't get involved with me now she knows what guy i'm like.Is there any coming back on this? I think she's overreacted to it!? I would like to at least be friends again or us to talk. My best mate said she told him she's over what happened so there might be a chance right?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (6 June 2011):
 That's why I never assume anything!
You're not in a committed relationship, so you were well within your right to kiss this girl. Nobody got cheated on. However, she may have felt like you weren't being entirely honest because you didn't volunteer the information about the other girl.
There's no dating her now because she's already slapped a label on you. If she's already over it, then there's a chance you two could still talk..Give her a friendly hello the next time you see her.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 June 2011):
 Technically you are right- and yet you are still wrong.
Like, you are right in the letter of the matter, not in the spirit.
Sure, with people it's always "buyer beware " and before doing anything even remotely intimate with anybody, it would be smarter to find out if the person is morally free to do that something, and what exactly that something means to him/her.
This, in theory. In practice, you can't think them all.
If a guy comes and picks me up for a date with a shiny expensive new car, I assume it's HIS car- I don't ask him if by any chance he has not just stolen it for the occasion and there's the risk we are going to be involved in a police chase. Because I am the type of person who does not steal cars, and I assume ,maybe naively, that other people are like me.
Maybe she is the kind of girl that would NOT think of kissing a guy when she is involved with someone else, and she was corteous enough to think the same about you. Maybe she feels that, knowing she likes you, you would have volunteered the info like that gentleman that you are (not ), so that then she could have made an informed decision, if kissing or not kissing.
Yes, she has been a bit naive, and she has learned something - never assume; many people are greedy,first they try to get what they want, and then they worry about working out the moral/social details.
She has also learned that she does not like this kind of people, and that she is happier not having them in her life. Reason for which, she got over the episode, but perhaps not over the impression she got about you.
I'd leave it as it is. And next time, remember that yes, for some people a kiss is just a meaningless moment of recreation , but for some other no, they don't see it this easygoing way. So, if it's a girl that you really like, -find out first which category she belongs to.
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A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (6 June 2011):
 If she is over it then you should be too. Not every issue needs to be reconciled. She simply did not enjoy being used for even a kiss. Some people can kiss (or even do other things) and simply regard it as such - others see a much deeper meaning.
I would just let it be and go about your business. If you and this girl bump into each other again then you can talk about it. If it is really eating at you send a message through your buddy that you wish to settle things rather than just have it buried.
REally you should consider yourself lucky because with the internet, even small indiscretions such as this can be met with SEVERE consequenses. It is so easy to smear someone's name annonamously all over the world wide web. She is taking it well and that is fortunate for you.
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