A
female
age
36-40,
*heLovelyArtist
writes:This may sound weird, but my boyfriend and I are in love and I love being with him, he makes me happy, I make him happy. We cuddle, snuggle, kiss and hug. BUT we haven't had s*x yet. We have a great relationship, but how do I bring lust into it? I don't feel that I'm ready to do it with him yet, but I don't think I feel any lust for him. I don't know if I want him in that way, for whatever reason. What should I do? I feel confused, and it's obviously hurting the relationship b/c my boyfriend wants to do it, but I don't...but then he also feels bad for constantly asking me about it. I think I still feel uncomfortable being intimate with him, I know I'm not doing anything bad but I feel awkward (we've been going out for 1 year and 3 months, you think I'd be comfortable already!). What could I do to feel not so awkward? How do I feel lust for my boyfriend?? A relationship definitely has to have love, but it also needs lust. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TaylorChu +, writes (25 July 2007):
 LOVE DOESNT EQUAL SEX and it sex sure as hell isnt necessary in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship. Don't have sex with him. Has he promised you a life together? Do you have any plans to build anything in your future? The last thing you need is lust running through your mind. Take it as a sign that you are not interested in him. Once you open the door to lust you will think about sex non stop and it will invade all your thoughts. Your mind will replay images and even fantasize about other people.
Just love him. Have sex when you get married and if he isnt the one you would ever dream of getting married to then leave the relationship. Sex is for ultimate intimacy between a husband and a wife. Children come through sex and right now I dont even think you are mature enough to understand that concept. Dont be pressured into having sex. Just dont do it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): Hi there - OMG ive posted a question almost identical to this yesterday and the only feedback i got was - 'i don't think you like him as much as you think you do'. Not very helpful I know as I know I love him.Ive been with my b/f 1 month (although we dated for a year but broke up) and i love everything just not the sex part although i think about having sex with him all the time! Its really confussing I know - although I think its a case of your ready when your ready, you can't really put a time scale on that, don't forget your still very young (Im only 19).Have you ever masterbated - does this feel awkward as well?Do you do other sexual stuff with him or do you find that awkward as well?When you look at him, or walk into a room which he is in what are your first thoughts? - mines always 'i wanna kiss you'.Plz let me know how you get on as Im in the same situation and your advise might help me.If you wan to talk more let me know.Take Carexoxoxo
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