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female
,
anonymous
writes: Help, I'm Confused!!I started seeing sexually this guy in my office a couple of months ago. He finshed a long term relationship a year ago. It started after a drunken night out and then I went back to his place. We then started seeing each other and have been for a few months. We always end up in bed together because I am weak. I want us to have a proper not nessacary a really serious relationship but something where I feel more valued. We don't go out and do things together and few people know about us. I don't want to discuss it we him because I don't want him to mis-under-stand me, I don't want marriage tomorrow! I am scared that he will finish what we have. This is better than nothing at all, though the more I see him the more I like him!Please Help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anja +, writes (26 April 2006):
 Well don't see him any more then! He is using you for SEX...he does'nt care about you emotionally, men don't when they know there is no commitment. It is easier for a man to sleep with someone without getting emotionally involved. Women nearly always end up getting emotianlly involved with the guy they're having a physical reltionship with. Go out and find a man who can respect you, first respect and love yourself. It sounds like you have low self esteem, you need to spend a bit of 'me' time, and when you do find a guy, don't get your pants off for at least a month...pref never...until you know he feels the same way as you emotionally.
A
male
reader, indiansage +, writes (26 April 2006):
It seems that he treats you as an sex object, otherwise he should have made the first move and given your relationship more meaning other that just sexual. In case you have feelings for this guy, say so to him and tell him the kind of relationship you want. Sex is a beautiful experience but if it is more than just lust it is even more beautiful! For people in love sex is the culmination and not be all.
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