A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have a child together (3 months), we live together. But, there's constant conflicts that take place...I've tried writing letters to her, love letters, offered to go out on a date while someone watches our son. And she would write back and it would seem that things were getting better...but the same problems persist...One time we were at a clothing store and we were looking at baby clothes. While we're looking at clothes...I ask her if she wants me to buy something and she says that she doesn't know. After looking around, she grabs something and gets upset saying "could you buy this, I feel like i'm just doing all the buying lately?" Well, I felt hurt because, while I'm at work she goes to the stores and buys clothes for him with a credit card, ateleast once a week. I didn't feel that it was fair of her to get angry with me since she goes off on her own and buys things. I buy things for him when we're together...so I don't understand her anger. Also...one night I was hurt because, we seem to have these conflicts more and more and I told her "I hate that we've been having conflicts lately..." and she gets defensive saying "well it hasn't all been on my end." and I'm thinking "I didn't accuse you, I didn't say that you are the reason for our conflicts, why are you getting angry?" The other day we came home with groceries and she packed the stroller with groceries. I told her that I would prefer to carry the groceries up first and then return for the stroller. She got upset saying "Well excuse me for trying to make it easier!" and I"m like "I'm not trying to put you down or make you upset I'm just saying that its easier for me." She says "Why the hell would you make two trips? If we take it all up at once we can relax. I'm sorry that you cannot figure out how to carry a stroller up the stairs..." now that really hurt. We go from highs to lows and its constantly pushing me away, I love my son but I'm falling out of love with so much hostility...he's all that I care about...i'm going ot be in his life no matter what happens thats my son...id rather him live with a single parent than arguments everyday...I know what its like growing up so I don't wish that on my son....
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice, however I forgot to add that my girlfriend was like this way before she got pregnant. Although, not at all when we first started dating.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): Relax. You have a 3 month old son... it's hormones!
I'm the mother of two and I can tell you from experience that the first six months after you've had a baby you need to settle in to a new body and life. This goes with ups and downs (ok, more downs than ups) but is perfectly normal.
Give her time to get used to having a baby, get her body and her mind back. I know this probably sounds unfair to you but trust me it is worth the sacrifice.
Be patient. Good luck ;-)
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A
female
reader, bethevans  +, writes (2 August 2009):
 Okay, well .. My Brother and his girlfriend have started to solve this.. the solution is to actually not just say something randomly wen shes in a bad mood get her in a good mood and just say how u feel .. My brothers baby is now 8 months old.. and him and his girlfriend are constantly in arguements so they decided not to see eachother like all the time.. becos thts wot causes arguements.. maybe you just need to be in seperate places from time to time? like not always together u no ? hope i helped xx
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