A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year, we have been working faithfully at keeping our relationship together and it's been a success as we live so far apart. We see each other every two months and the day before he leaves, for no reason at all he sparks an argument over nothing. It can be the simplist of things. Why does he do that? We always resolve the dispute before he leaves and we depart on good terms. But he is aware of himself doing this and wants to fix it, he doesn't know why he does it. Any suggestions or ideas?
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female
reader, Merilee +, writes (17 February 2011):
When my fiance used to leave me - we live in different countries and see each other for stolen long weekends every 3 months - we try anyways.
But that first weekend he took the plane home, we kissed, and he walked through customs. He never looked back. When I left him the first time, again, we kissed and he left never looking back.
I had to ask why he did this, and his answer was simple. It was to hard to watch me leave, so after a goodbye, a kiss, he didnt see the point in prolonging it.
After 2 years, and alot of visiting, now he does watch me leave. He turns around a dozen times to get another look. And Im always there smiling.
Understand that leaving your partner, is hard. For some it will get easier, more acceptable, for some not so much. Its just something that you are going to have to accept as who he is during this terrible time, the leaving time, aslong as by the next day you are back to whom youre suppossed to be.
I agree with the other poster, giving hope to the next time that you will see each other will help ease the pain. Let your partner know that this isnt the final goodbye, that you will see them soon.
Best of luck, it takes two very committed people who are crazy about each other to get through a long distance relationship. Just be patient and extra understanding.
Cyber hugs to you
A
female
reader, katiebudge  +, writes (16 February 2011):
 sorry about your situation, but I've heard that people do things like that to make it easier to leave. If you leave someone in a arguemnt you are only thinking negative things about that person, if he leaves happy he'll start missing you quicker and want to come back straight away knowing he cant. that's one reason he might be. but you could always ask him. he may not even know why he does it, but you can always ask him tell him exactly how it makes you feel and try to get it out of him why he does it. my boyfriend and I argue sometimes and when we do he usually goes off track with what were arguing about and brings up his family. he had quite a hard upbringing and clearly its still hurting him and thats why he's so angry. so maybe your boyfriend has the same, maybe he used to argue with his ex girlfriends alot and so he's used to it or maybe its a security thing, maybe he feels safe when he's arguing with people i know it sounds odd but it happens. maybe he gets scared that he wont see you for ages and worries you may find someone else, he maybe very insecure and that's why he argues with you because he's too afraid to just tell you he's worried. maybe things are happening when you don't see him and when you do he takes it out on you. make sure you are definitly talking to each other and expressing with each other. and maybe suggest anger managment or speaking deeply about why he thinks its happening, even if it takes the whole time he see's you, it will be worth it to sort it out.
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (16 February 2011):
 He's frustrated the two of you don't spend more time together. If you can put a date to when the two of you can see each other more often I think that would go a long way to easing his frustration. That's what we did and it worked like a charm.
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