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We had sex. I'm his agony aunt when he has problems with his girl. But i have feelings for him!

Tagged as: Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 August 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2007)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I'll try to keep this short, a few yrs ago, i became friends with this guy when he was going though relationship problem (his gf messed around with his brother) we became very close, and we had sex a few times,, Then he softly let me down by letting me know were were just friends, and thats all we could be.

So eventually he gets a new gf. I get blown off. UNTIL they fight, then he comes back again. NOt looking for sex but looking for my comfort i guess. I"M in LOVE with this guy, and i'm not so sure i'm offering the correct advice, cause secretly i want him and Her to BE done. I know he loves her and she loves him,, but i can't deal with it anymore. I WANT TO BE WITH HIM. I don't want him to be with her, so what do i do. Tell him to GET lost,, or continue to pretend i'm interested in what he has to say, and hope one day he will turn to me again.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

My advice would be to confront him and tell him the truth. Tell him what your feelings are for him and that you guys can't be friends anymore as you used to. You have to get away from him. I know it is hard 'cause you love him and do not want to let him down as a friend at the right now, but when he goes back to his girlfriend who is going to confort you? He is obviously going to be happy with his gf, then you are going to be miserable and sad.

I said, be strong and cut him out of your life completelly. At least, until you get him out of your mind.

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A male reader, DJ8433 United States +, writes (29 August 2007):

DJ8433 agony auntYou have a conscience this is sure. As he said, he only sees you as a friend, if that's all he wants, you have to decide if it's all you want. If you want more, you may have to walk away unable to be his friend because you love him more than friends. and can't cope. It would be different if you weren't in love with him, because then just having sex and him leaving wouldn't hurt so much. He's not yours to have until he says he wants you again. When he says that, you have a decision to make, because more than likely he will hurt you again because he's obviously not in love with you. You've been blown off once, do you want to get blown off again? You're only in control of yourself, decide what you want to do and do it.

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