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male
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anonymous
writes: i have recently split with my gf of 1 year and 4months i love her so much and i dont wanna lose her. we had an arguement and i hit her and i told her i was sorry and that i wont do it again i want help so i can get her back she told me she loves me alot so i need your help please so i can be happy again, what can i do to get her back??thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ShortandSweet? +, writes (25 May 2006):
 You need to be pretty damn sure that the hitting business was out of character. What I would tell my daughter is.... if he can hit you once, he can do it anytime. It's just not acceptable. No explanations and delving into emotions are needed - if you are able to lose control and hit a woman - you need to get it sorted. Ask yourself - where did that come from? Who ever said to me that it was ok to hit someone? Sorry if that doesnt adrress your probs - but you need to get that hitting thing sorted out first and foremost xxxxxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2006): Well I know how you feel Mr. Anon. I never hit my (ex) gfs before, but when I do have the angry urge to, I usually slap myself. Yes, you heard me right. You should also see their expressions when I do it.
Anyway, you have to balance it with giving her space, possibly even attend anger management courses, and continue to show your love and support for her. Just don't smother her.
Yes, like Been_There mentioned, you'll have to find a chance to talk to her and explain your feelings, as well as address your physical action towards her. Sometimes, when a guy or a girl hit their partner, it's NOT a sign of abuse. Though it may be translated that way, as the majority is like that. Instead, it's more of an impulse to try to end the yelling fest - it's a HUGE frustration when a partner is completely illogical and unreasonable.
Mhm.
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (25 May 2006):
 My friend you need to give her some time and space. If she wants to get bak with you, she will do so in her own time when she is ready. I am not judging you or saying you are a bad person, and I know you know you have done wrong, but NO ONE has the right to hit anyone like that and yes I appreciate that you may be sorry and truly remorseful, but she is going to need some time to get things straight in her head and work out if she can trust you not to do that again. Dont smother her with calls etc, just back up a bit and let her decide what she wants. You may want her back, but she has got to want to be in the relationship too. If she says she loves you then I believe things can work out for you. I really hope they do because at least you have seen the error of your ways and you want to make ammends. I admire that. I wish you all the best. xXx
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A
female
reader, been_there +, writes (25 May 2006):
 Hi there! wen u care about someone u want everything 2 b perfect but sometimes u can lose ur temper. mens abuse towards women is a big deal and so ur gf id obviously scaredt that u may do it again- not because of the pain but because of the betrayl she probably felt.she said she loves you so chances are she will come around, but you need 2 understand that you really messed up so it may take a while- u also need 2 tel herr that u are aware of this and will wait for her. explain to her that youd really like to b part of her life again and u will never do anything like that. try taking her out 4 dinner/ the cinema as 'friends' to regain her trust. most importantly let her know how much she means to you and how lost ud b without her!!! good luck!
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